Monday, November 26, 2007

The Longest Hypothetical Question I Will Ever Write.

So hypothetically, if one were at a church service, and one's daughter had a bloody nose right during the sacrament hymn, which consequently dripped on page 175 of the hymn book, then closed the hymn book and but still held it and continued to bleed while everyone on the bench looked for a tissue, thus making a stain of about 2 inches in diameter across the closed pages, would one A) leave the hymnbook there, B) take the hymnbook home, or C) make a donation in a tithing envelope and discreetly throw the book in the trash?

Just hypothetically speaking, of course...

16 comments:

East of Eden said...

Hypothetically, take the book home and add $7 (the price of said book) on to your tithing next time.

kristen said...

hypothetically I would donate extra in tithing funds. But that's hypothetical, of course ;-)

(and of course dispose of the book, because ew--if I opened to hymn #175, that song would be ruined forever)

Janell said...

Hypothetically, if I had a pen on hand, I'd turn the splotch into some amusing little creature and label it with an initial and date. Hypothetically, if I didn't have a pen on hand, I wouldn't worry about it. Hypothetically, if I didn't have a pen on hand and was oddly haunted by the splotch, I would replace said hymnal myself; and use the disposed one as blackmail evidence against said daughter's curfew. ("Be back by 10pm or I'll show him the hymnal.")

I can't decide if the hymn she hypothetically bled on is oddly appropriate (being about blood and all) or blasphemous (being about Christ's blood).

Janell said...

* pretend that semi-colon is a comma. I've been programming too much.

Tonya said...

Well, hypothetically speaking I would take the hymn book and order a new one online at the distribution center and replace it.

Although, I do like the idea of making hypothetical doodling.

Sue said...

OK - what did you actually do? I mean, hypothetically?

Heather said...

How does all this weird stuff happen to you??

mindyluwho said...

I'm hypothetically voting for the tithing funds.

"Vern" said...

I vote D) donate the pages to the Enrichment so they can decoupage them onto a vase during Super Saturday

Caroline said...

D)wipe the book off and put it back and hope to goodness that we don't sing Hymn 175 again for a good long time...

of E)tear out that page and make it look like my 3-yr old did it....

Kimberly said...

Oh dear. I'd go for C. And possibly become a loyal handerchief carrier for the rest of my life. Oi!

Stacey Tate said...

Hypothetically you don't have to do anything. Tithing should cover the cost of doing business. You should also let go of all guilt upon finding baking pans with the name of the ward etched into them in your moving goods.
The Lord looketh upon the inward heart.
Thanks for the laugh.

Melissa said...

I'll tell you what - I will send our hymn book that hypothetically made it's way from Oregon to California with us on our last move (no idea where the darn thing came from!). Then you can replace your hypothetical hymn book with ours. Sound like a plan??

Nancy Face said...

Hypothetically, I would take the bleed-y hymn book home and throw it in the trash, then order a new one from distribution. (They have free shipping!)

Or I'd take Melissa up on her hypothetical offer!

Stephanette said...

I go with Melissa as well...then whenever Sister Nosy "so-and-so" gets the hymnal everyone will want to know how on earth that out of state hymnal got there - and you can sit back and do the silent evil laugh during your internal dialogue...but all hypothetically speaking.

NF said...

I'd do B and C. :)