OK, I'm not sure who I think I'm kidding. Because even though I know you're not supposed to advertise when you're out of town, anyone who ever reads this blog has GOT to know that I am
A) out of town, or
B) dying in the hospital.
At least if I were dying in the hospital, I wouldn't feel so bad about not making my blog rounds and saying hello.
Actually, yes I would.
So I'm banking on the idea that nobody who reads this is actually a robber, waiting for the opportune moment to go in to my house and get my most valuable possessions. If you've been stalking my blog, patiently wondering when you're going to get your hands on the good stuff, I'll tell you right now, it's NOT worth it.
But if you insist, at least let me help you out so I don't have to clean up your mess when I get home.
1) Jewelry. Pretty much everything I wear is fake. Except my wedding rings, which I have with me, and the pearls my grandma gave me when I graduated high school which I hid in a really really super safe place the last time we went away and haven't been able to find them since.
I think they're somewhere in my closet.
2) Computer equipment. Well, we pretty much brought everything that works well with us so The Brain could set up a giant computer network-o-fun. Don't even bother. All those hard drives laying around are mostly from people we know whose computers have crashed and they bring their stuff over to see if The Brain can fix it. If it's still there, it's trash. But feel free....
As far as other electronics, if you can watch it, put it in your ears, or download anything onto it, we brought it with us. That's right, picture the Beverly Hillbillies with Ipods. (It's almost worth it to download a music player for this post. Just so you can really get that Beverly Hillbilly banjo feel. Almost.)
3) China and silver. Um, my china is nice, but hardly worth carefully wrapping each piece so it would actually be worth something when you were done. Might wanna grab some bubble wrap on the way over if you're thinking about it. Same with the silver pieces. (Both of them)
I always wonder about those movies where the robbers just toss everything into the pillowcases. When they get home and pour out all the scratched and broken loot, does anyone really want it? Or are they just trying to impress all their robber friends with the valuable stuff they grabbed, and then they throw it all in a dumpster on their way to KFC for dinner?
4) Cash. ( HA HA HA HA ) Umm, yeah.
5) What you really want is my secret stash. It's in the china cabinet, third drawer. It's a small mixture, but there's enough variety to keep you occupied for awhile. There's a tiny box of See's chocolate, a couple of Lindt chocolate bars (Do you have any idea what a Lindt pistachio chocolate bar could bring on the open market??) and I think there are some twizzlers way in the back. You know, because sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
And when you're done? Could you at least leave a comment? I'm dying to know where those pearls were.