I calculated that in the last year, I have gained approximately 22 pounds. Which is NOT, you know, ok with me.
So all these thoughts that have been rolling around in my head for the past few months, about "really should be" eating better, and "really should be" exercising more? They suddenly jelled into a rock-solid thought in my head, and frankly, it gave me a huge headache. (literally!)
I came home determined to do something about this situation immediately. Today. And Yesterday if possible. (Which, of course it isn't, but I did play the "if only" game with myself for about an hour before I finally snapped out of it.)
In the last 24 hours since The Big Realization, I've have some smaller realizations: (in no particular order)
- Unfortunately, my new awareness is going to put kind of a cramp in the past year's eating style.
- Also my sleeping-in style and my procrastinating dinner planning-oh well we'll just have noodles again style.
- I thought it was also going to cramp my drinking lots of Diet Coke style until about 3 pm yesterday, when I decided that if I quit the Diet Coke thing at the same time as the eating thing, the sleeping in thing, the new exercise thing, I may not have enough energy to get off the couch-thing, let alone get on the treadmill in the evening. Also I might decide I had nothing to live for. Also my family may very well kick me right out the door because of my current state of ultimate crankiness. And really none of us deserves that.
- This will likely also put a cramp in my blogging style. First, because I will no longer be spending hours on the computer, surfing, commenting, and "writing" (for lack of a better term).
- Secondly, at least for the first little while, this detox from extra food and extra sugar, is making me very dramatic. And crabby. I'll try not to let it spill over here too much, but you've got to expect some overlap - after all, this is pretty much what is playing on a constant loop in my brain.
- And Third - more grammatical errors. I've rigged up a laptop station over my treadmill, and it's more difficult than you might think to walk fast and type at the same time.
But all in all, it's going to be better. I remember very clearly how great it felt a year ago to be pretty fit, and I'm anxious to get back there.
I AM going to make it happen. I just hope we all survive the journey.