Well, this post about our HOA (home owner's association) will probably not be what you expect. Yes, we have problems with our neighborhood, but we're not being hounded by the HOA. We ARE the HOA.
The Brain has the dubious honor of being the current president of our subdivision, which when you think about it, is quite possibly the world's most thankless job. There's no pay, no prestige, and rarely does anyone even say "thank-you". Mostly people are just a little crazy about something, and they want The Brain to Do Something About It.
You may have already noticed at some point in your life, that there are people in the world who are off their rockers. They just don’t see the world the same way as everyone else. Apparently crazy attracts crazy, because they’ve all ended up here. With us. (Wait, what does that say about us?)
If you don't believe it, come to my house and listen to a week or so of the phone calls and emails we get from our neighbors, who, without exception, all seem to have been hit right between the eyes by the Crazy Fairy's magical Wand of Insanity.
All The Brain wants to do, really, is keep the neighborhood normal. That’s it.
Ya wouldn’t think it would be that difficult, would you?
But the challenge comes in where one person’s normal, is another person’s Vietnamese roosters being kept in their backyard for the big Autumn Celebration which is 3 weeks away.
Oh the phonecalls.
At least they didn’t call at 5:30 am every morning - when the roosters woke up everyone within a 3 block radius.
And three weeks later, the problem was solved with the death penalty for the roosters. (Another thing the neighbors were a little vocal about.)
Then there was the time our neighbors at the top of the street installed a peeing-boy water fountain in their front yard. Nothing says class like a peeing boy permanently installed on your front lawn. It’s always fun to critique what someone else thinks is “art”. But the angry neighbor phone calls won out, and they ended up having to replace it with something else. (Everyone in the neighborhood still calls them the Peeing Family, though. I have to give a little nod to karma for taking care of that one.)
Then there's the couple who absolutely "does not have time" (use your sarcastic airquotes there) for yard work; including either mowing or even watering their expansive lawn. Naturally they live on the corner where you enter our subdivision. Yes, the very first house in the neighborhood. Last year they racked up hundreds of dollars in fines, but every time The Brain went over to ask what he could do to help (he even fixed their sprinklers for free), they gave him another sob story about how they just don't have time.
Maybe it's just me, but if you were racking up weekly fines, wouldn't you FIND time? Or at least pay someone to come and do it? Or sell your house and move to a condo where you can live in a yardwork free zone and never have neighbors knocking your door down again?
You know, everybody here has a rule they want enforced AND a rule they want overlooked. It's enough to drive you... Wait, I think I'm already there..
And I? I am the Crazytown answering service.