One of my imaginary and very wonderful blogging friends, Lauren, got married today in the Mesa Arizona temple. So I've been sending her wishes for all the happiness and joy in the world!! I had a chance to contribute my advice to a little wedding present for her, and I thought I'd share the post I wrote, in honor of her special day. Congratulations, Lauren!! ( well, and Ted, too, of course!)
Dear Lauren and Ted,
How is it possible to be so excited for and interested in the lives of people I've never met? Why the magical world of blogging, of course!
Reading Lauren's blog for the past year has been like a Stephanie Meyer novel I can't put down, even between chapters, because I know something exciting is around the corner. And now here we are at the wedding chapter. How did that happen so fast?
I think my best tip for keeping perspective in your marriage is to find a picture of each of you when you were in grade school, and frame them, and put them in your bedroom somewhere.
Sometimes when I'm really angry about something The Brain has done, I go to my room, and I almost always see his picture there from when he was in 3rd grade. It gives me a chance to think about that little boy, with some definite mischief in his eyes, but certainly no malice... and it helps me remember who he really is. He doesn't try to hurt me, or go out of his way to be unthoughtful. Sometimes, he just doesn't think the way I do (thank heaven for that!).
And sometimes when I look at a picture of he and I together, I can still see the little boy inside there - who Heavenly Father loves so much, and would like me to try to be patient with, and try to work things out.
The pictures just make it easier for me to remember that we're both still growing. We're doing the best we can, and it's a good idea to cut each other some slack.
It's no small feat to be worthy to marry in the temple. It's a huge accomplishment that requires goals and focus. The next phase of your life will be the same way. Set goals, focus, and remember not just who you are, but who you both are. You can do anything!