I'm glad to have had the luxury of a couple of teary days and fantastic cyber friends to come to terms with the fact that this is not about me. Thank-you for all your support for our family, and especially your
On those rare occasions when I actually recognize that I am in the middle of a life changing event, I try to talk myself through it by reminding myself that this is what I'm here for. I believe that our spirits lived with God before we were born here, and part of the reason I'm here is to test my spirit, to see how I handle things without being in His presence.
Somehow, looking at life events as tests make them easier for me to get through. It becomes a challenge, and my competitive nature kicks in. (Somebody remind me not to yell "Bring it on!" because I think tempting fate like that might be just a little out of the arena in which I care to be challenged.)
So it's test time. Time for me to make the transition from what did I do? To what can I do?
It's about the future, not the past.
What I want for all of us out of this, is to come to terms with the very real fact that our Heavenly Father loves us no matter what we do. And no matter what, he always wants us to come back.
My very wise bishop reminded me yesterday that my son is now a man, and it is most definitely not my job to get in and fix this for him, or even with him. It's my job to be the soft place to land, and the tangible demonstration of unconditional love.
I can do that.