Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Maybe More Push-Ups Would Help

I have a thing about driving shopping carts. I rarely let my kids do it, because when they were younger, almost without exception they would "accidentally" run into the back of me with the cart. Come to think of it, the number of times it happened? Maybe it was more than accidental. I mean, how many times can you run into someone's heels, apologize profusely and sincerely, and then do it all over again, before the person catches on? Apparently more than a few.

Anyway - I finally got to the point where if one of my children was/is driving the shopping cart (and come to think of it, why are they always behind me?), I will subconsciously hold my arm out behind me as I walk through the store, so as to protect my heels and my behind from being accosted. I think of it as sort of a reverse "talk to the hand".

They still feign innocence, too.
"Jeesh, mom! WHY are you walking like that? It's not like I'm going to hit you. Again. "

Uh-huh. I fell for that one a few times, too.

SO yesterday I was in Costco, driving my own shopping cart (thankyouverymuch), trying to finish up my Thanksgiving shopping before it got too crowded. I'm glad I went before it got too crowded, because I was imagining what it would have been like if it had been actually crowded,and I don't think you would have been able to fit any more carts into the store. So that was good.

About halfway through my trip, I had this overwhelming urge to walk with my hand out behind me. I think it was intuition or something, because you have to know that between all the elderly people who were in there, and all the kids who were running around (and what were kids doing there at 1pm I ask?) it just felt - you know- a little tight. And also like people were paying way more attention to getting a sample of the 3 cheese ravioli than to the direction of their shopping carts.

Turns out the hand thing wouldn't have helped, because the 20ish year old extremely muscular guy who DID scrape the skin off my heel with his cart had one of those flatbed things which I obviously could not have defended with the old arm-sticking-out-behind-the-back move.

He apologized profusely, saying he had no idea the cart was that heavy and just couldn't get it slowed down in time.

I looked from his sincere face, to the shirt he was wearing that proudly proclaimed "Personal Trainer", to his mom (I'm pretty sure it was his mom) who was with him, and we all busted out laughing.


I have now been officially inaugurated into the holiday shopping season. And I have the ankles to prove it.

26 comments:

Stacey said...

That image just made me giggle. Sorry about the wound though.

I have ran over my kids a few times and I know that when they are older they will seek revenge upon me.

Stacey said...

I guess I shouldn't say "ran over". "Ran into" is better. I don't want the cops showing up at my house,charging me with abuse.

Amy Peterson said...

Randi, that is just horrible. Seriously how hard is it to stop a flatbed cart! I bet if it was his mom ( maybe really old girlfriend) he could have stopped it! I mean really people can pick up whole cars for goodness sakes. = )
I was at Costco yesterday too, avoid the pie section as if your life depends on it! Because it just might!
I love the Holidays! Really I do! Some scraped up ankles, nothing some Christmas music can't fix!

Becky said...

Whew! I'm glad you made it out alive! :)

I did all my shopping last week, because last year I went the day before Thanksgiving and had a bad experience with a cranky lady and a can of cranberry sauce.

Nothing ruins the holiday mood like an altercation over canned fruit.

Heather said...

Costco this week? You are brave. At least it wasn't on the HUGE hill on the way to the parking lot. Instead of your ankles he might have taken out your entire self.

Jan said...

All I can say is ouch and he must be a tough personal trainer. Costco is scary enough right now. Wow.

goddessdivine said...

We used to fight over who got to push the cart when we were kids. And we wonder why sometimes my mom just wanted to go to the store herself......

Dude, you should have fallen to the ground, clutching your ankle and writhing in agony. That would have been awesome.

Glad you have a sense of humor.....and that the guy was nice enough to even realize that he scraped you, and apologized. Let's be honest; some people are entirely clueless in this matter.

LisAway said...

Funny, funny.

At least your shopping carts don't run away from you because all the wheels swivel, making it impossible to keep control of the darned thing. Especially when it's full and heavy. Which it always is. (All shopping carts in Poland are like this)

Barbaloot said...

Maybe you should drag your shopping cart behind you from now on? That way they'll hit your cart instead of you.
And here's hoping an incredibly muscular 20ish guy runs into me this holiday season:)

Tink said...

Ha ha! Lol! That is too funny. Sorry about the heel thing and I TOTALLY agree with you...shopping carts in the hands of children are deadly! Now it sounds like shoppings carts in the hands of personal trainers are deadly too! Ouch! Holy smackeroos, that would have KILLED! Happy Thanksgiving to you, my dear!

Liv said...

I'm so glad I got my Thanksgiving stuff last week. Right now I couldn't handle a blow from a cart!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Oh dear! not fun! It was years before I would walk in front of the shopping cart when my husband was weilding it. Yikes! He finally learned how to control it, thank goodness. I guess shopping cart control was not part of his education growing up.

Loralee and the gang... said...

I just found your blog, and love it! And can I steal your Comment Policy and put it on my sidebar? Thanks. I'll take it off if you detest plagarism...to me it is just the sincerest form of flattery!
:)

Yvonne said...

ouch! But, at least he was nice about it.

BTW: going to Costco the week of Thanksgiving WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?????

mormonhermitmom said...

Yeah, those achilles heels hurt once the kids have rammed them a few times. I just hold onto the the front of the cart and "help" drag it along, then I know where itis and where my feet are.

I think you should have collapsed on the guy's cart and said, "Thank you! Yes you may push me around the store!"

Paul said...

I have a love-hate relationship with Costco.

I love it because of the potential impulse purchases (as God is my witness, I am going to figure out how to use that telescope).

I hate it because of the potential impulse purchases (would you @#!$% people stop standing in the @#!$% aisle!?!?!?!).

I went there Saturday for a bunch of stuff, and I haven't had the follow-up with my therapist yet.

Kimberly said...

Sometimes I'm glad to live two and a half hours from the nearest Costco.

Mostly though, it makes me sad.

Jillybean said...

You should have made him give you a ride on his flatbed cart. He could have plowed down everyone in line for the pumpkin pie samples, and got you 3 samples instead of one.

Perhaps you should start wearing padded boots to the store.

Blog is my Co-Pilot said...

ouch! i remember doing this to my mom! I remember her getting so mad at me.

Rachie said...

Ha! I'm 28 and my mom still doesn't let me push the cart because I hit her heels maybe twice back in the day. That and she likes to lean on it. I've never been crashed into but I still leave my hand right on the front of the cart to make sure I never do. :)

Mammamia said...

Ouch! I'm still in the bloody heels phase of life. I have three kids crashing into my heels ALL the time. But my grocery store conveniently makes kid sized carts so putting my hand out doesn't help. The cart is small and low to the groung, but it still hurts just as bad when it crashes into your heels.

Wouldn't that be funny if it wasn't his mom that was with him?

That Girl in Brazil said...

Okay, very much winced at that image.

Ooooooo.

The Morris Fam said...

ouch! sounds like it's time to join the crowd and wear legwarmers...a little protection you know. :)

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

you should seriously consider combat gear next time you shop. I personally don't let my kids participate in shopping in any way that is not buckled to or strapped in to something. :)

rich and steph said...

Have had so many experiences like that with my 5 kids. I believe I have permanent bruises on my ankles;) Cannot believe you were ran over by a personal trainer guy-what was he thinking?! Not!

Nancy Face said...

OUCH! It really does hurt when that happens! But I love the Personal Trainer shirt, haha! :D