Thursday, February 5, 2009

Day 5 of My Captivity

Day 1 Sunday: My suspicions were aroused when I began hearing a cough coming from down the hall. (We normally call it the Sunday Cough.) This Sunday Cough was even more suspicious, due to the fact that it was also a Fast Sunday Cough. And while everyone knows how easy it is to fake a fever, I'm not quite sure how she managed the red rimmed eyes. I let her stay home on the red-eye technicality.

Day 2 Monday: Her make-up artist must have used some very advanced techniques, adding a puffy eyed look to the red rims. Almost as if she was really sick. - - Well, to the UNTRAINED eye, maybe. After hearing that chest cough all day long (sheesh the lengths some people will go to just to get a little r&r!), Monday afternoon we got a hold of the doctor, who will hereby be referred to as her accomplice. He thought she really needed some antibiotics and a heavy duty cough syrup.

Day 3 Tuesday: Slept most of the day, interrupted only by waking up either freezing or sweating and needing more meds.

Day 4 Wednesday: Still coughing, though she has decided today that it would be more "realistic" to cut the fever. She has no idea I'm onto her game. But since she says she's dizzy when she stands up, AND she's still employing that darn make-up artist, I decide to have her stay home one more day. Incidentally, today she asks for "lunch".
(Hey, you want lunch? Lunch is a privilege for people who go to school, girlfriend!)

Day 5 Thursday: Wakes up with a headache, and is still beating that "Sunday Cough" routine like a dead horse. She's switched make-up artists, though, and is now employing someone who apparently worked on the movie Twilight, and had lots of white pancake make-up left over. (No sparkles, though.)

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I only know that my captivity will continue long into next week, when the faking is over, but the school make-up work begins. Stay tuned.

27 comments:

Erin said...

Oh man! I'm so sorry that you have had so many days of captivity in your own home. And I love the makeup artist idea - does she hide in the closet?

Heather said...

Yuck!

Lara said...

I'm right there with you, but the faker is my husband. Much worse. I promise.

Barbaloot said...

Tricky artist---remembering to leave out the sparkles. That's where I would've been caught.

The Mom said...

LOL I hate being sick, I hate it when my kids are sick, and I detest it when my hubby is sick. Good luck!

Sarah said...

We just got over this fake malady at our house too, the said fakers finally decided it wasn't doing any good and gave up.
My condolences to you and the poor faker.

Yvonne said...

I'm so sorry. Hope it passes soon.

LOL at the lunch comment ; )

Two Princess Girls said...

Poor baby! I hope she feels better soon.

Amy Peterson said...

Kids! Honestly they are getting better and better at faking sick! Sounds like she had the Dr. fooled too! ; ) I hate being sick! I'm so sorry-- hope everyone else stays well!

No Cool Story said...

*Acting!*

Dang.
That thing is going around, honest.

mormonhermitmom said...

Just make sure You don't start faking it.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Hilarous! I hope you are linking it to MMB Funny Friday contest.

Sue said...

Beware! You could be next - I don't know how you've avoided it so far. My Grandson gave his crappy cold to me and then informed me that Every Kid At School is sick. Since I work in a pharmacy I've seen the masses of sicko's and I believe him.

wenderful said...

Hope she feels better soon. I hope it's not Mono. That's a REAL drag. You'd have to start calling in the reinforcements.

The Miller Family said...

Your posts are so clever. I hope she feels better soon!

Becky said...

Whoa, she's good! A makeup artist and everything.

We used to chew up some banana and wait until someone came by to see us "puke" in the toilet. We were amateurs, obviously.

Alison Wonderland said...

Better her than you though right?

Cynthia said...

Eck! I hate dealing with sick kids. It's almost as hard as dealing with a sick spouse.

I hope things get better soon- or at least that you're given time off for good behavior on Saturday for awhile. Good luck!

Jennifer said...

You are so funny! I hope she gives up the ruse today! :)

Jen said...

I always find it interesting how much they want to stay home sick, then when it actually happens they remember what "sick" really feels like!! The few times they managed to fool me and stay home when they could've gone to school, I make sure they are BORED OUT OF THEIR MINDS all day long. That usually cures the fakers for awhile. :)

Paul said...

The whole thing definitely sounds suspect.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

hmmm, the little con artist. Let me guess, she wears her pajamas all day too? Such an actress!

goddessdivine said...

'Twilight makeup'.....love it!

Help I need a user name! said...

You know, I really love your blog. It's funny, and a great pick-me-up whenever I read it! You are a good writer.

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

Not fun. Sorry for your captivity. Although I feel sorry for your "actress", too. 5 days --- that's a long time to stay in character, in such a yucky role.

Melissa said...

I feel your pain. We're slowly rotation the cough/cold/congestion through the family so that someone will be sick for the next month or so.
Sniff...sniff...

Nancy Face said...

NOT FUN...but you make it so entertaining! ;)