Monday, March 9, 2009

No Parade of My Home, Thanks

OK, what is up with people giving drop-in guests casual tours of their homes? Is this a new thing? Or maybe it's an old thing and I've just never heard of it.

Recently I've been at a couple of different places, where the homeowner has offered to give me a quick tour of the house. And while I'm as curious as the next guy, I'm not really sure how I feel about that. Probably because I'm VERY sure how I feel about it at my own house.

The latest tour was when I went over to someone's house to pick up some paperwork, and after we took care of our business, the guy told me that he was having his master bathroom redone, and would I like to come and see the tile. That sounds creepy when I write it here, but it was a friend/business guy and it was in a completely non creepy way, I promise.

So I went upstairs to see his new tile, and on the way up, he said "I'm not really sure what kind of shape the house is in. Just don't pay attention to the stuff that's out." And really, I'm good with that. I mean, I do notice the difference between filth, daily clutter, and show-home-clean, but that's about it. But it's such a "guy" thing to say, isn't it? It totally cracked me up. Can you imagine a woman saying that, and actually expecting it to happen? For that matter, can you imagine a woman taking you on a tour of her house in the first place? Because most women I know would rather eat rocks for a month than take you through every room in their home.

He started opening doors and showing me his kid's bedrooms, the den, the playroom, the master, etc.. It was pretty much a daily clutter sort of deal, which is what you'd find here if I suddenly went completely insane and took you on a tour of my house today.

Anyway... nice tile, chat, chat, kthxbye. (as Lauren would say.)

The next day he called --- and I can only assume that he must have mentioned his little tour to his wife, who apparently feels the same way I do about unannounced tours.

Because judging by the rate at which he was explaining that his house was super show-home clean just a couple of hours after I left, and would I like to come back sometime and see it in a better condition? plus the level of my heart rate while I'm sitting here just thinking about The Brain giving someone a full tour of the house ... he was in big trouble. BIG Trouble.

Or he just suddenly cared.

What? It could happen.

28 comments:

Yvonne said...

I always remember going to see a woman from Church who had 7 kids and when I walked in she said, "I'd say don't mind the mess, it usually doesn't look like this, BUT IT USUALLY DOES!!!" I knew we'd be friends.

Melissa said...

Really? A tour? Hmm... I don't think I've ever been offered a tour of a home of a friend. When family has built or bought a new home they've taken us through...

Lucy said...

I always tell the Home TEachers that I'll vacuum before they come when they say they will be here in an hour. They always ask me if I vacuumed. I always say 'no.' I guess I'm weird but I don't care what anybody thinks of my house. Or keeping. But I still don't want anybody taking a tour through it. Some things are just personal.

Dave said...

dang it!!

the interweb ate my clever, witty and hilarious response!!

and there is no way i can duplicate it so that I am satisfied the second one is as clever, witty and hilarious as the first one :-(

what a great way to start the week

<<grumble grumble>>

Dave said...

oh, and it was something along the lines of

guys should never have friends/visitors/home teachers over without clearing it with the wife because guys seem to be pretty much clueless when it comes to evaluating a house's readiness level for other people to see it and also i thought it was hilarious that the guy called the next day trying to do damage control because that could totally been me

only the first time it was formatted better. and much more clever, witty and hilarious

mormonhermitmom said...

I'm with you. Unless I had a house like Mount Vernon and I had a crew of servants to keep it clean - so basically - NEVER IN THIS LIFE

Heidi Ashworth said...

I would have wanted to kill my husband. Thank goodness he knows better!

beckers said...

I was at a friend's new house a couple of weeks ago, and she did a quick tour...showing off the house and all the improvements she'd made. I was happy to get to see it....but I could see how it would be a little strange in different circumstances. And yeah, I'd KILL the DH if he did that when the house wasn't clean (and that pretty much means no tours ever). :)

Annette Lyon said...

The ONLY time we've done the tour thing is in a brand new house where friends came over and ASKED for one. And then they said, "What, we can't see the master bedroom?" when my husband was in there. Sorry, folks.

Karen said...

I've been given tours of people's houses when I'm an invited guest, but not for a drop-in. That husband must have been in very deep doggy-do-do to have called and actually apologized!

Heather said...

Yeah I've only gotten new home tour... but when I stop by next I'll totally expect a tour out of you.

Lauren said...

I hate when people take me on tours of their homes. Because then you are expected to "Ooo and Ahh"..but what if I really don't feel a natural "ooo" or an "ahh"? I don't want to be a liar...

Amy Peterson said...

My husband doesn't seem to think the "picked up" level of our house ever matters! He gets the clean thing, but if there are kids toys all over, and the shoe basket is over flowing with shoes it really doesn't seem to matter!

Kristina P. said...

I admit that when I'm in someone's new home, I am definitely curious and would love to see it.

But this is weird.

LisAway said...

Okay this is so funny. Especially the part where you realize that it sounds creepy written out. I hadn't thought of it until you mentioned it, but yes, that's pretty creepy.

Funny.

If anyone comes to our door I just stick my head out the door and make sure he can't see into the house. Just kidding. When the doorbell rings I yell to the kids, "TIDY THE HALL!" and they race and do it before I get to the door. Works for us.

Kimberly said...

This gave me such a giggle. Neil OFTEN takes people on tours of our house, and then wonders why I panic and clean everything up when I hear someone is coming over. Sheesh.

Lee said...

You sound like you are taking my thoughts and putting them in such a much better way than I would. If my husband gave anybody a tour of my home and it wasn't show room clean, there'd be a price too high for him to pay.

Jen said...

My husband loves to give impromtu tours of our house. It's colonial and the people who owned it before us were interior decorators so it's gorgeous. I don't really have a problem, per se, because I'm a clean freak so it's always spotless, but it makes me uncomfortable when people tour through. It's almost like we're saying "look how great our house is wouldn't you like to see it," showing off, or something. I would prefer to just say no to the whole tour thing. Unless it's for sale, of course. :)

Beverly said...

My husband is big on giving 'tours' of the house, too. I thought it was a Southern thing. Now I'm not so sure. I'm like Jen and the house is usually clean (we're empty nesters), so I don't usually mind. Of course, there was the time he told them not to mind the mess--and there wasn't one! THAT ticked me off!

Missy said...

I am going to start saying,"Oh, don't mind the house we are just remodeling!" I would never offer a tour of my house to anyone except the police and only if they had a search warrant! I only go in the boys room if it is an ermengency!
So glad you stopped by! Love your blog! I am jealous! LOL

Christy said...

I actually had a good friend who offered me a tour of her home when I stopped by unannounced to drop something off for Primary... it was model home clean and as I slunk out, I kept thinking, "holy crap, she's been to my house when it was a pigsty... and this is how she really lives!" It was an embarrassing thought for me!

goddessdivine said...

That is a little strange, but I love when people show me their house. I like looking at layouts, master bedrooms, bathrooms, etc. I know; I'm weird.

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

I like showing friends my new projects if I have any. But the operative word is "FRIEND" because that means they know me and accept me, right? But casual acquaintances, no, unless I'm sure the house super clean.

Alison Wonderland said...

I can see showing off the new project (I do it all the time with my new kitchen) but not the rest of the house.

wenderful said...

My husband loves to do this and can't tell when the house is not show ready. And it's usually when my tampon box is sitting next to the commode or the laundry is strewn across the closet floor. He doesn't care so why should anyone else? Men!

Tay said...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,507904,00.html
just thought you might like this article. :)

Tink said...

No tours of my house! No way. My house anyway can be seen from all angles because it is a very tiny-tiny house...but no way do I offer tours. Maybe I'd feel different if I had a show home like some bloggers' homes I've seen.

Sue said...

Tours! No Way! That's why we have doors - so we can close them and pretend everything is wonderful behind them. Ha! When all 8 kids were little and I had day care besides I used to tell people "Sorry about the mess, it always looks like this and I'm always sorry!"