Monday, August 31, 2009

First Draft Movie Lines

Recently there's been a fun twitter meme going around called First Draft Movie Lines.
Basically, you take a famous movie line, and imagine what it would have been like in an incompetent first draft - you know, before it was rewritten into the iconic line it became.
Here are some of the more amusing ones.

"I'll get you my pretty.  Or maybe your dog.   No! Wait!  Both of you!  Yeah, both of you!"

 "I feel the need. The need to fly this airplane really really fast."

"Houston, the shuttle's broken! This cannot be presented as an understatement!"

"Shaken, not stirred.  And could you throw in a cute little cocktail umbrella on top? It would totally match my shirt."

"With great power comes... great utility bills."

"To Infinity, and... well, that just about covers it."

This boat is way too small to catch that thing.”

“The name’s James Bond. . . JAMES Bond.” 

“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads. The car can fly. That’s why we don’t need roads. Just get in, I’ll show you.”

“I miss my sled.” -

“Frankly my dear, whatevsies.” 

“You had me at ‘I’m not your brother’.” 

“I want the truth!” “Fine! I ordered the Code Red! Just Shut Up already.” 

“E.T…Update Facebook”

“May the Force be with you. Can I interest you in a pamphlet extolling the virtues of the Force?”

“I’m mad as hell, and I’m only going to put up with it a couple more months!”

“The midi-chlorians are strong in this one…”

“E.T. not phone home. roaming charges.”

“My Mama always said, ‘Life is similar to a box of cracker jacks; the prizes get lamer as you get older.’”

“I love the smell of maple syrup in the morning.” 

“They may take our lives, but they may never…wait…our lives? REALLY?…I think alive and oppressed might be better.”

“If you strike me down, I will become a shimmering apparition with the power only to frighten.” 

“The 1st rule of Fight Club is: No Fighting. I know - it’s confusing.”

“No Mr. Bond I expect you to die… when you see these wonderful hats I bought.”

“First rule of Fight Club: We take turns bringing donuts.” 

“There is no spoon. …Use your fingers.” 

“I see dead people, including you Bruce Willis, that’s right, you’re dead too, what a nutty twist that is.” 

“Use the glow stick, sword thing that lights up, Luke.”

“The first rule of Fight Club is: everyone *has* to bring something for pot-luck Mondays.”

37 comments:

Melia said...

Thank you!
I will go change my underwear now.

Kristina P. said...

We totally have potlucks at my Fight Club meetings. Funeral potatoes go very well with a shirtless Brad Pitt.

Annette Lyon said...

Snicker, snicker, snort, snort!

Janell said...

“I miss my sled,” made me giggle.

Barbaloot said...

Those are great. My favorite was Frankly my dear, whatevsies. Thanks for sharing!

Beverly said...

Love the cracker jack one!!

Dave said...

that word....

I think it means that the idea of something is so far fetched that it is not worth considering.

which clearly doesn't apply here.

Millie said...

Hilllllllarious. Loved 'em. :)

Yvonne said...

Too funny--now I have to admit, some of them I didn't know.

Jennifer said...

funny!

mormonhermitmom said...

"I have an extremely uncomfortable feeling of doom about this..."

Cherie said...

Those are a crack up!

I thought of this one:

You've got...comments :D

JustRandi said...

"what we have here, is a failure, to effectively share ideas and feelings. Now, group hug."

Dave said...

you rode a 15 yr-old boy straight into his grave...

and the rest of us, straight to this NEVER-ENDING TIMESHARE PRESENTATION!!!

Chief said...

funny stuff. I'm trying to think of one of my own, but I can't get the Fight Club quotes out of my head

Kevin said...

I'm king of the top part of the front section of this boat!

Dave said...

We’ll always have,... that foreign city with the tall pointy thing, you know, they talk that funny language, what's it,... France?

Dave said...

I’ll make him an offer he might not refuse

Heather of the EO said...

Top Gun reference...

Speak to me now, Goose.

That could have taken away from that whole "talk to me, Goose" thing huh? :)

Kevin said...

You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?

(Dirty Harry doesn't need rewrites.)

Rebecca Talley said...

Funny!!

goddessdivine said...

Funny stuff.

"I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem. Basically, I'm obese."

Melissa said...

Those are awesome! What a fun list :)

annie valentine said...

Um, Kristina? Everything goes well with a shirtless Brad Pitt.

Kevin said...

"Smurf Village. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

mindyluwho said...

Oh my goodness, these are funny!!!

Lee said...

Thanks for the laugh!

Stacey said...

Those were awesome!! :)

Nancy Face said...

Those were funny...I've never heard any of them before! :D

Dave said...

Do the chickens have large teeth?

Dave said...

Buddy: I can fly! Can you fly?
Mr. Incredible: Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.
Bomb Voyage: Et, mon aƩroglisseur est plein d'anguilles!!

Dave said...

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Try saying that fast five times in a row. lol

Dave said...

The President of the United States just asked us to save the world. Anybody want to go get a latte?

Tori said...

OMGosh!! LOL LOL LOL Seriously... I'm totally laughing out loud.

Adrienne said...

OK. Who is this Dave guy? Funny!

rocslinger said...

badges, I don't think we need any badges, a little gold maybe perhaps some water but thanks for asking.

Badges, Uhh I don't I don't think we need badges. We'll go back and see if we need them, you stay here until we get back.

LisAway said...

Oh, I needed this! Thanks for posting. :)