Recently there's been a fun twitter meme going around called First Draft Movie Lines.
Basically, you take a famous movie line, and imagine what it would have been like in an incompetent first draft - you know, before it was rewritten into the iconic line it became.
Here are some of the more amusing ones.
"I'll get you my pretty. Or maybe your dog. No! Wait! Both of you! Yeah, both of you!"
"I feel the need. The need to fly this airplane really really fast."
"Houston, the shuttle's broken! This cannot be presented as an understatement!"
"Shaken, not stirred. And could you throw in a cute little cocktail umbrella on top? It would totally match my shirt."
"With great power comes... great utility bills."
"To Infinity, and... well, that just about covers it."
This boat is way too small to catch that thing.”
“The name’s James Bond. . . JAMES Bond.”
“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads. The car can fly. That’s why we don’t need roads. Just get in, I’ll show you.”
“I miss my sled.” -
“Frankly my dear, whatevsies.”
“You had me at ‘I’m not your brother’.”
“I want the truth!” “Fine! I ordered the Code Red! Just Shut Up already.”
“May the Force be with you. Can I interest you in a pamphlet extolling the virtues of the Force?”
“I’m mad as hell, and I’m only going to put up with it a couple more months!”
“The midi-chlorians are strong in this one…”
“E.T. not phone home. roaming charges.”
“My Mama always said, ‘Life is similar to a box of cracker jacks; the prizes get lamer as you get older.’”
“I love the smell of maple syrup in the morning.”
“They may take our lives, but they may never…wait…our lives? REALLY?…I think alive and oppressed might be better.”
“If you strike me down, I will become a shimmering apparition with the power only to frighten.”
“The 1st rule of Fight Club is: No Fighting. I know - it’s confusing.”
“No Mr. Bond I expect you to die… when you see these wonderful hats I bought.”
“First rule of Fight Club: We take turns bringing donuts.”
“There is no spoon. …Use your fingers.”
“I see dead people, including you Bruce Willis, that’s right, you’re dead too, what a nutty twist that is.”
“Use the glow stick, sword thing that lights up, Luke.”
“The first rule of Fight Club is: everyone *has* to bring something for pot-luck Mondays.”