Wednesday, September 30, 2009

If I Have Anything To Say About It, Both Ben AND Jerry Will Go To H*ll.

It's only taken me about 30 years to figure out that there are certain foods that just can not occupy the same living space as I do. No, really.  I'm not talking about eating when I'm bored or emotional, I'm talking about the foods that actually call to me from wherever I've hidden them, enticing me like a chocolate cupcake with sprinkles in a room full of hungry Biggest Loser contestants.   And I'll tell you right now, I am NO biggest loser!

There is no power in the universe that can stop me from getting to these foods if they're in the house, which is why everything on this list is banned from sitting in my house for more than a few hours at any one time:


movie theater popcorn


my dad's pralines


and Red Swedish Fish



but now THIS.




and DARNIT I can not stop eating it!

I hope there's a special place reserved somewhere for Ben and Jerry. Somewhere that they will never see ice cream again in it's frozen form.

Spescial apology to The Brain:
Honey, you know that pint that you thought was in the basement freezer, waiting for our next date night?  I'm sorry, ok?  Really sorry.  But seriously - cupcake/ biggest loser....  you know there was nothing I could do, right?

29 comments:

Kevin said...

I am so disappointed! Now how am I going sneak bites from the freezer? I will just have to rely on my secret stash of Rice Crispy Treats... ;)

LisAway said...

Oh yes, I know about these types of foods. And yet I constantly bake them for myself (constantly is not an exaggeration). I should have gained 60 pounds by now in my pregnancy!

Um, I think I need a recipe for Dad's pralines. . .

Barbaloot said...

Mmm-Swedish Fish.

My can't-say-no food is Rocky Road from Schwan's. Fortunately, I only have the option of getting it about once/month since they deliver. If it was sold in stores I'd be dead.

jjstringham said...

For me it's chocolate chip cookie dough. Unfortunately it's one of those things you can actually make. And it takes great willpower to not make a new batch every single day.

Glorious Thoughts said...

Oh yes, I understand. Fresh baked Chocolate chip cookies and frozen chocolate yogurt are my best friends. And then when I go to Rexburg or Provo there is...Hogi Yogi-with their tempting frozen chocolate yogurt with crushed M&m's. Do you know I can eat 2 "larges" in 1 day and not even feel guilty? Thank goodness we don't have a Hogi Yogi in Denver!

mormonhermitmom said...

It's amazing if chocolate chips make it one day in my house. How rare for them to actually make it to cookie dough.

That Girl said...

Oh ... oh .... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Glad I don't have to go grocery shopping for a while.

Yvonne said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who hears food calling to me. I'm not satisfied until it is ALL GONE.

And just what did you think of Biggest Loser last night??? My question is how did she eat those 4 cupcakes and still lose that much weight!!!!

Stephanette said...

Ooooh...another thing to go on the list of foods I will eat once Cajun Boy is weaned.

The Mom said...

Cheetos, frozen cookie dough (the kind the kids sell for fundraisers), movie theater popcorn, brownies from a box...these are all things that are my "Kryptonite!"

East of Eden said...

My first job was at a movie theater. One thing I will say is NEVER, EVER, NEVER get "butter" on your popcorn. It's not butter and it's solid at room temp.

Rebecca is Thrilled by the Thought said...

Frozen chocoloate chips. You could put chains around the freezer door and I'd still get to those bad boys.

Melissa said...

Snickers, chocolate covered raisins, caramel popcorn... I think we all have lists like this! :)

Amy said...

Great post! My weakness is the Lindor White Chocolate Truffles. They are no longer allowed in my house - unless I am sick. Chocolate always makes me feel better then. At one time I thought if I ate all of them in one night then I would get sick of them and no longer have the craving. Instead I was just sad because they were all gone.

goddessdivine said...

Ok, only Vermont could produce something with a play on words about world peace. (Eye roll.)

But oh how I love Swedish Fish!!!

Chief said...

I am the love child of Ben and Jerry. If they were married, or had a surrogate.

Jillybean said...

You know what would be really good? Take some of your dad's pralines and eat them with the ice cream.

You're welcome.


Seriously, I think I need the recipe for your dad's pralines.

beckers said...

Yeah, the praline "mess-ups" as ice cream topping....mmmmmm.....

Heck...pralines in any form. Dangerous.

Lucy said...

They do have good ice cream, don't they. Mmmmmmm.....when I was on my mission in California a couple of years ago, I used to walk up to Walgreens and buy Ben and Jerry's ice cream and take it home and eat it all. I gained weight I'm still trying to get off.

Dave said...

honestly, all of those would be safe from me.

Now, if you had a bag of Oreo's or SSN 2 of iCarly stashed.... those i would find

JustRandi said...

Lol
But that's what makes it so interesting. I love hearing about other people's Kryptonite!

(thanks to The Mom for the term!)

rocslinger said...

I find it strange and very sad that some of my worst binges is while I'M watching Biggest Looser.

I wonder if I'm just that much of a rebel and hate having anyone telling me whats bad for me or I'm some kind wierd alter ego for the shows contestants

Anonymous said...

This comes to you from the "house of pralines". The worst. 6000 spread all over my counter tops. It is so painful. Really, how do I get enough before they are bagged bowed and given away. Oh wait, it's not about me.

Whitney said...

Ben and Jerry are geniuses. No wait. They're half geniuses. As soon as they figure out how to make their awesome ice cream not make me cry when I step on the scale, that is when I will grant them the official "Genius" title.

Mmmmm...movie theater popcorn.

Katie said...

Ah. Movie theater popcorn. After I eat a whole thing of it, I swear I'll never eat it again...but I have yet to stick to that. My weakness is most definitely pumpkin cookies and chocolate covered cinnamon bears...try as I may, I can never make them last more than a day or so :P

Lee said...

Take the reese's guy with them.

JustRandi said...

Wait - chocolate covered cinnamon bears???

where does one find those?

(and Lee - -LOL!)

The Pollocks! said...

Chocolate Covered cinnamon bears are just a few minutes away, Randi. . .Mountain Man Fruit and Nut Comp on the corner of Bowles and Kipling. you're welcome. (they rock!)

Loralee and the gang... said...

This'll kill your appetite for Ben & Jerry's - they changed the name of "ChubbyHubby" for the month of September to "HubbyHubby" in celebration of Vermont's (where the ice cream company was founded) passing the law aproving same-sex marriage. Gag!