Wednesday, October 7, 2009

What Exactly Does "Barred For Life" Mean, Anyway?

 (why isn't there a font for "air quotes"?  You knew those were air quotes in the title, right?)

Yesterday I went to Lowe's to look at area rugs.  When the sisal rug we have in our family room started fraying right in the middle of the rug (in front of the couch) I knew that it was inevitable.  But now that it has actual holes in it where the fraying areas used to be, it's really time, and I have already searched at several carpet stores.

This information really has nothing to do with my story, but now that you already have it, you might as well know that I have not been able to find a suitable replacement rug.  Apparently I'm pretty picky about rugs.

As long as I'm rambling, I'll tell you that I walked straight in to the Lowe's Christmas trap, and got stuck right there in front of the store for about 15 minutes looking at Christmas trees, ornaments, and all the whatnots that were there.

And by the time I remembered that I was not actually there to look at holiday things, I was in the middle of the Halloween aisle.   I love Halloween.    But I was only halfway down the aisle because one of those life-sized, animatronic butlers was at the other end.  And I was pretty sure it was motion activated.  I was making sure I stayed a good 30 feet away, and marveling at the power I was giving to a decoration to seriously creep me out.

I think I even shivered a little

And when I was done scaring myself by being so close (seriously! 30 feet!!) to the creepy butler dude, i turned around and almost had heart failure, because this big scary "zombie-type" guy had appeared out of nowhere and was standing VERY close to me.  Before he could even utter the words "Can I help you find something?"  I was already in mid-scream.  Not one of those yelpy things, either.  Seriously. Creeped. Out.   Remember?

He apologized... I'm pretty sure he didn't know for what.

I apologized for being startled...  and for thinking he was a zombie.

Which he didn't find nearly as funny as I did.

I did not look at area rugs.  Instead, I'm pretty sure every employee in the store watched me try to find an exit (stupid Lowe's) as I hurried out of the store. 

So I guess the question is, - -
When you're barred from an establishment for life, does someone actually SAY something?  Or is it more implied?

21 comments:

Kevin said...

When you are barred for life, I am pretty sure your picture will get posted at the customer service/security desk. Don't ask me how I know this, just don't expect to ever see me in the Hobby Lobby in Arvada. Or Parker.

Emmy said...

Lol! I agree, I hate anything that looks really real and moves! So not cool.
Besides, you can't be banned you can sue for being so scared ;)

Dave said...

Yeah, banning someone is a whole process, you have to take their picture, fill out paperwork, give them formal notice, it's a big ordeal.

I used to do it at Wal-Mart all the time.

You're probably ok. The Lowes guys are just laughing at that chick that ran out of the store cause she got scared of the Halloween decorations.

Tay said...

The guy will never live down the teasing by his coworkers over that one. :)

Melissa Bastow said...

Maybe next time you go to Lowes you can just wear a zombie mask and no one will recognize you.

Kristina P. said...

I work with a lot of kids who have been barred for life. I think they got a certificate or something.

Loralee and the gang... said...

I suppose it is possible to barr YOURSELF for life from somewhere, solely out of embarrassment!
:~D
(and some of those dudes there DO look Zombie-ish!)

Barbaloot said...

Don't be mad, but I really wish I would've seen that in real life. :)

Jillybean said...

I think the guy should have apologized for making you think he was a zombie.

I'm pretty sure it was all his fault.

Yvonne said...

First of all I don't have a clue what "air quotes" are???

I'm happy to say I don't have much experience with being "barred for life"--although I'm sure one day that will happen at Costco if Allan and I keep going there for the samples AKA LUNCH ; )

Heather said...

I don't think you'll actually get "barred for life" unless you use a display toilet at Lowe's... which you may have needed to do after the encounter with the ZOMBIE.

Annette Lyon said...

I *hate* those butler dudes.

mormonhermitmom said...

ROTFLOL! I wouldn't be surprised if they used the security camera shots as an advertising gimmick..."Look how frightening our decorations are!"

Barred? Never!

Becky N. said...

If I were you, I wouldn't worry. If the woman in my ward managed to get kind, understanding smiles from Lowes employees after her then-3yo daughter used a display toilet to, uh... take care of business... then I think they won't ban a lady who happened to get a little startled in the Halloween aisle. ;)

Karen said...

See why I hate Halloween?

Jennifer said...

That is so funny. I really HATE masks myself. I wonder why both of us are that way. Now we need to talk to Becky to see if there was a childhood incident...hummm

I am impressed it can still be a favorite holiday for you with that "fear of creepy things" so closely attached to Halloween.

Anonymous said...

I know of no mask incidents with you, however the Brain was involved with a certain mask and a certain sister.

LisAway said...

You should move to Poland. No scary butlers over here! David was asking if we can go trick or treating this year. Um. . . NO. I can just imagine the looks we'd get.

beckers said...

Too funny!!! I completely blame it on the Brain and his creepy old-man mask.

And yes, Jen, definitely a childhood incident.....

Michelle said...

I found your blog from a friend. I have to say you are a hoot! Thanks for the chuckles! I'll be back!

rocslinger said...

I think your safe Randi. I get that scream a lot (it doesn't have to be October either) and no one has been banned from me or any establishment I've been in; yet.