Wednesday, January 20, 2010

If You Hear Someone Banging Their Head on a Steering Wheel...

Hey, if you want to do something fun, set yourself up to drive a carpool of 4 15-year-old girls who have all recently acquired their driver's permits. Because NOTHING is more fun than having your driving "secretly" critiqued from the back seat every day of the week at 3:30.

Now, these are darling girls - every one of them! And I really don't think they're trying to be judgmental -- they're just paying EXTRA close attention to the rules of the road, because this information has only recently become uberpertinent in their lives, and as you already know, there is SO much to learn.   But they must think I can't hear them back there, asking each other questions in low voices. 

"Do you think she came to a full and complete stop?"
"Me either."

Uhhhhh.

I can't decide if they think I'm deaf, or maybe they know I can hear them, but they just don't like the ABBA music I play and they're trying to get back at me for that.

Naaaaa.


"wait!  so you don't have to signal if you're in the turn lane?"
"what's the speed limit on this road, anyway?"
"do you think she's going to pull another illegal u-turn?"

Illegal U-Turn?   It was a roundabout!!  Maybe if you looked up from your texting every now and then...
  But of course, I can't say anything, or then they would know that I was listening, and they might stop all their other chatter about everything else going on.  And the only reason I signed up for the carpool in the first place was to keep tabs on all that other chatter.   And besides, if I said anything, they would all start giving Mimi the "your mom is crazy" pity look.    And Mimi has enough to deal with including the fact that her mom might actually be crazy.  So I at least try to spare her from dealing with the looks.

So I bite my tongue and just keep driving.


 and just for the record....

I am fanatic about signaling, I only drive slightly over the speed limit, there was NO ILLEGAL U-TURN, and I may not have made a "full and complete stop" at the first stop sign,  but there was NO DOUBT in anyone's mind about EVERY stop sign after that.

Because I'm super rational like that.

Super. Rational.

33 comments:

Dave said...

i think that secretly, and maybe subconsciously, your strategy is to "pretend" you are a horrible driver, they'll tell their parents, and you'll be "excused" from the carpool forever.

brilliant.

and totally rational.

Dave said...

oh, and

FIRST!!!!!!!!!

Because I'm super rational like that.

also.

JustRandi said...

Yes. Yes, I'm subconsciously PRETENDING to be a horrible driver.

I think I'm pretty convincing.

Apparently so does the carpool.

Dave said...

i guess we can see where mimi gets her acting chops from :-)

who knew a woman could portray a bad driver so convincingly?

Kristina P. said...

This sounds perfectly delightful. Almost as delightful as death by neti pot.

Jillybean said...

Our oldest will be getting his driver's permit in September.
Thanks for letting me know what I have to look forward to.

Jillybean said...

Also, I think someone needs to slap Dave upside the head for that woman driver comment.

Emmy said...

Yeah, that would be annoying. And pretty funny. But like you say, worth it to hear the rest of the news :)

The mad woman behind the blog said...

I'm hoping we'll be a community of mass transit vehicles when my kid is old enough to drive.
Although I wouldn't mind her telling her daddy to slow down. My luck she'll drive just like he does.

Melissa said...

Sadly, I remember doing that to my parents. I think it's a rite of passage... both for the teen and the parent! Take comfort in knowing that one day she will have teenagers ;)

Dave said...

oh, i've been slapped Jillybean

:-)

I mean, if we can't laugh at stereotypes that are completely untrue, what can we laugh at?

Yvonne said...

That is too funny. Just remember--what goes around comes around--AND IT DOES.

I went to lunch yesterday with a friend who doesn't drive and didn't want to try to squeeze into a spot (I hate parallel parking and she kept telling me it was not that small. And kept telling me what to do as I was trying to get into the spot--we had a good laugh about it.)

Lucy said...

No problem. When they get their license(s) you will get to ride in the back and critique all of their texting and cell phone usage while they are driving. You go girl!

The Miller Family said...

Lol...glad you made the rest of the stops perfectly clear! That situation would be *so* annoying! Good thinking for opting to drive to hear all the news - I'll have to remember that one.

Janell said...

I need a "like" button a la Facebook. Your post made me smile, but I have nothing to contribute in way of a meaningful comment :)

Rebecca is Thrilled by the Thought said...

I think it's all in rebellion of ABBA. =)

Heather said...

An illegal u-turn in a roundabout? You've got some skillz!

ganelle said...

My niece was making NO bones about the fact that she was evaluating my driving. Her big hang-up? Hands at 9 and 3 (She tells me 10 and 2 aren't as good.) Whatev!

goddessdivine said...

Just have them ride with me and you'll look like an obedient driver right away. It's no secret I'm an assertive driver. And who doesn't make an illegal u-turn every now and again? Give them time; they'll realize that you don't need to use your turn signal all. the. time....(like when no one else is around. Seriously--there's no one to signal to!!)

Kimberly said...

I have to disagree with Kristina. Neti pots aren't THAT bad. Hee hee...

mormonhermitmom said...

So did an engineer with an ear infection invent the roundabout? Hate those things.

Amy Peterson said...

I love that you talk about the gossip, like it's a terrorist plot "chatter".

Ohhh and by the way CRAZY is a compliment in our family-- so you are all good!

beckers said...

Lol. I know EXACTLY what you mean! Luckily, ours mostly does it from the front seat....if she's in the back, she's way less likely to even pay attention.

Amy said...

Your post made me smile.

My son will hopefully get his learner's permit in a few months. Can't wait until he starts commenting on MY driving. I may have to read the manual to brush up on my driving skills.

Loralee and the gang... said...

My 16 year old daughter openly critiques my driving. And she is not even interested in getting her license yet. I have to wonder why? Does my driving scare her that much? (She is one that does opposite of what you want her to, so it's working!)

The Boob Nazi said...

hahahaha I would KILL THEM.

That Girl said...

You WILL get your revenge.

Guaranteed.

Jenn said...

Jeez, if my mom would've heard me and my friends "whispering" about her driving, she would've dropped us off on the side of the road.

Matter of fact ... she still threatens it, and I'm 24!


Stopping by from SITS! :)

@WannabeMomErin said...

I came over from SITS today.

I think you picked the right strategy, keep quiet so you don't spook them into silence and can still hear the gossip.

Mrsbear said...

Stopping over from SITS.

Fifteen year old girls can tend to be a bit unyielding when it comes to back seat driving. My daughter is all sighs, eye-rolls, and exasperation. Car pooling is a brilliant strategy though, you must hear it all.

Nikki said...

lol, this is a funny one. At least she'll know how to drive from watching you! :)

thanks for stopping by my blog! yup there is sometimes too much info out there about organic vs.not. The numbers are a great way to start, 4=poor, 8=gm, 9=organic!

Katie said...

Haha, I love it. Wait til they actually get their drivers license and everyone critiques their driving. Or maybe that's just me that happened too.

Stephanette said...

...and this is what I love about driving teenagers to Super Saturdays at the Stake Center!