Showing posts with label I think you've mistaken me for an animal person.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I think you've mistaken me for an animal person.. Show all posts

Monday, June 23, 2008

Mr McGregor Got a Bad Rap

Bunnies have overtaken my world.

(In my wildest dreams, I never imagined that as a beginning line to a blog post.)

A couple of years ago, we noticed a bunny around the neighborhood. It was all very Beatrix Potter. I even considered putting up a little scarecrow in the garden, just for the storybook joy of it.

So in the beginning the bunnies were adorable and novel and furry. But the cuteness and novelty is wearing off as fast as they are eating my garden lettuce. I think we can safely say that all three (the cuteness, the novelty, and the lettuce) are COMPLETELY GONE.

But Thumper and his buddies? They're EVERYWHERE. (And they're fatter than ever thanks to their luscious diet of garden treats.)

And when I say everywhere, what I really mean is:
  • in my garden
  • squashed by a car in the street
  • nesting in the flowers of my front yard ( no less than 5-6 at a time scatter when I go out.)
  • in and out of the garage if it's left open for more than a minute or two.
  • living under my back deck, in a place where the dog can not get to them, but it is driving her insane. Which in turn is driving me insane, because she barks at them at random hours of the day and night. Also she is scratching up the deck and the lawn trying to get under there.
And they're multiplying like - well, you get the picture.

And not to go all Mr MacGregor on Peter Rabbit and his friends, but on more than one occasion, certain alert neighbors might have heard me yelling bunny-cenities and waving a rake.

It's coming down to the wire. It's either me or them. (Or maybe the stupid dog. But what I know for sure is that there are way too many mammals in the equation.)

The Brain keeps talking about rabbit stew - mostly to bother the girls, I think. But not me. I'm considering leaving some tiny black tennis shoes and some a special bunny Kool-aid under the deck. I figure I'm just a comet away from a good strawberry harvest.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Memo

Memo to Daisy:

It has come to the attention of the management, that some of your activities are disruptive to those who are working in your area.

Please cease immediately all barking and loud noise associated with the neighbors building their new deck. Failure to comply with this memo could result in immediate termination of your position here.

Next week, please plan on meeting with your manager regarding an all encompassing performance review. This will include discussion and rating of your performance in the following categories:

mouse reduction
neighbor annoyance
fence digging
general sanitation practices

As you already know, our company is making some cutbacks, and may possibly have to let you go at that time. Please have a cardboard box ready and be prepared to pack your things immediately if that becomes our determined course of action.

Thank-you,
The Management