Today the girls get home from LDS girl's camp. Don't worry, I've done this before, and I've braced myself. Last night I even checked my Last Day of Camp Sanity Kit, and I'm good to go; case of Diet Coke, jar of advil, giant box of laundry detergent, pot roast, good dessert, extra pens. Yep. I'm ready.
For moms who have never experienced this, here's what you can expect:
1) When you pick them up at noon in the church parking lot, your girls will be waking up from the 20 minute nap they finally caught in the car. (This necessary because of their being up until 3am on the last night. They just don't want it to end!)
2) You will load all the bags into the back of your minivan while they run around giving "just one more hug". Again. --And maybe one more round of singing the Sippin' Cider song - just, you know, because. At this point, you will notice the mood swinging from sleepy to downright giddy.
3) By the time you get them in the car the giddiness will be peaking, and you will be regaled with the songs I Love My Mormon Boy and Choose the Sprite all the way home. You'll also hear the most fun stories of the week while on this drive.
4) In the enclosed vehicle, you will be reminded that each girl has only been allowed one shower for the week. No one has to tell you this, you just suddenly remember.
5) As you are unloading the car, you will ask your daughters to please leave their dirty clothes in the laundry room and not take them all the way upstairs. You will think you are doing them a favor by reminding them they don't have to carry the bags upstairs while they're so heavy. They will roll their eyes and ask why you are already making them do work. (Try to ignore this mood swing. It's only a couple of minutes, and then you should go get a Diet Coke. And some Advil.)
6) After they have done the "work" as fast as humanly possible, they will take their duffles upstairs, drop them in their bedrooms (where they will remain - - unpacked - -for several weeks), and drag their campfiresmelling selves to the shower.
They will remain there until the hot water is completely gone.
7) YOU will start the laundry immediately so your entire house isn't permeated with the um, smell. (Might as well start with the whites and use some of the hot water... That should shorten the showers a bit.)
8) Several hours later, you will go up and find them asleep on their beds, hair still wet, and clutching the quilt/pillowcase/ other craft they made.
9) They'll appear downstairs right before dinnertime, refreshed by the nap and shower, and "starving" for "real food" or "good food". Mom to Mom tip: No snacky things will do here. Better have a home cooked meal ready.
10) The mood will have evened out enough that during dinner they'll tell the whole family about their experiences. Starting with how embarrassing the skits were, leading into who couldn't start a fire, and then how great the other girls were. The conversation will be sprinkled with bits and pieces of camp songs, and some disputes over correct lyrics.
11) If you pull out dessert at just the right time, you can ask about the bishop's night, and the testimony meeting. Your girls will then want to stay at the table, and you will get to hear some of the spiritual experiences. You'll be so happy for them, and SO glad you worked it out for them to go.
12) They will then mention that if they could find a pen, they would write this all in their journals, at which point you should hand out the pens and excuse them from clean-up duty.
13) They will then stay up until midnight (cause they just had that long nap, remember?), arguing about what TV show to watch.
That's when you'll know everything's back to normal.