A couple of weeks ago she had a major melt-down and told her bishop about not ever ever feeling part of the ward or fellowshipped in any way. In fact she usually left Sacrament Meeting crying and didn't stay for any other meetings, because she felt so isolated. Nobody would talk to her, and she didn't have home teachers. And here she is, trying to live her standards, and she feels more alone at church than anywhere else. Including well, anywhere else she hangs out and tries to meet people or whatever.
This morning she posted that the bishop had gotten her wonderful home teachers and she now has a new calling... And I was really happy for her. And then as I continued to read, I got very concerned.
Her calling is in the young women. - NO PROBLEM!! I love the idea of having single, experienced sisters in YW.
But then I read what she's planning on teaching. Here's part of her post. See what you think:
Things I wish I had learned in my Young Women's classes:
- How to say 'No' when appropriate. Especially how and when to say 'no' to men. That skill would have saved me a few years of agony in college.
- When it's necessary to be rude, i.e. to stave off the drunks trying to hit on you. As opposed to re-enforcing the docile and submissive behavior that good girls are supposed to always exhibit, teach me to stand up for myself as a daughter of God that deserves respect.
- What qualities really make a man marriageable: no, being a return missionary and priesthood holder does not automatically qualify a man as good marriage material, nor does dental school. (What's the deal with all the Mo's becoming dentists?)
- How to tell when you are dating a loser.
- How to get rid of said loser.
- Exactly which sins/offenses need to be shared with the Bishop. (I still don't know.)
- Etiquette for turning down alcohol at social events.
- Etiquette for serving/not serving alcohol at your own social events. I deal with this by telling my party guests to brink their own beverages. Though I find that practice very tacky.
- Smart dating strategies. More than just saying "Don't date until you are 16." Teach the girls to avoid risky situations.
- Nutrition for healthy living.
- How to take care of yourself in a loving and respectful way. The importance of taking care of yourself emotionally as opposed to sacrificing your sanity to serve the family. "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."
- Learning how to love yourself.
- Career Planning, i.e. don't spend your youth pursuing a doctorate in the humanities.
- Study skills.
- Teach me the truth, that a temple marriage does not guarantee happiness, and being a 'good girl' does not shield you from pain or tragedy. (I already knew these things in high school, the fact that my teachers wouldn't tell this truth made me suspicious of everything else they said.)
- Teach me to use my voice to express my feelings and my needs so I don't grow up to be a depressed housewife on Prozac. (Or a 30 year old who has to practice saying "I love you" in therapy.)
I have to say; as a mom and a yw president, I would want to know if this was where we were headed in our program.
Take #2. How about instead of teaching them how to fend off drunken men, let's teach them not to be somewhere with drunken men in the first place.
I don't know. I think some of the things she wants to teach are great. But there are others that are pretty iff-y. And it would depend on the age she's teaching, too. Many of these things would be pretty good info for Laurels, but Beehives, not so much.
Do we really need to tell our 16 year olds how to serve alcohol at their parties? What do you think?