Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Maybe I Could Get A Free Membership

My running partner, Kami, meets me at the gym for some winter training work-outs.

Yesterday we were happily chattering along, oblivious to the people around us. We'd been on the elyptical machines for about 30 minutes, and talking loudly - you know, so we could hear each other over our heavy breathing and sweating and everything.
Then at sort of a pause in our conversation (very unusual), I swear, I heard somebody laughing.

I glanced over to the next machine see this giant, muscular black guy - seriously big- chuckling "to himself". This right after Kami's observation that if a vampire is about 400 years old, it would be kinda creepy for him to be dating your daughter. Even if he looks like he's 17.

Because these are the brilliant and deep conversations we have when we work out.

In my head I started reviewing the conversational topics we'd had over the 30 minutes we'd been there. Besides the 1) vampire conversation, we'd discussed 2) appropriate apology gifts if your husband has been a doof and wants to make up for it (chocolate donuts = not acceptable) 3) why football players probably do not understand the commercials in the Super Bowl, and 4) Who you are obligated to bring souvenirs for if you go away to Mexico on vacation.

I knew we were entertaining to ourselves, I just had no idea that our conversations could have a wider appeal. I debated whether to say something to him, maybe even ask his opinion on the vampire thing, but I didn't want to make him mad or annoyed or anything, considering he could probably snap me like a twig.

Entertainer for Health Club Patrons. At least it would stand out on a resume.

27 comments:

kristen said...

You totally should have asked him about the vampire thing.

You also could have asked his advice about apology gifts and/or gotten into some deep conversations about the Superbowl commercials.

Inquire at the front desk about that entertainer position. You might be on to something.

Jen said...

Who knew the gym could be so interesting. I ought to start working out!

You should definitely receive some sort of remuneration.

Yvonne said...

I think the entertainer position would definitely be yours!!!

Kimberly said...

That's brilliant! I'd be all glowy and strutting my stuff if I'd been that successful an entertainer. Nice!

"Vern" said...

and after living for 400 years, in AAAAALL that time, you've never met a better smelling girl? Really?

Tori :) said...

LOL!! You should have asked him how he would feel about a vampire dating his daughter...

Jessica said...

How funny that you were talking about the whole Vampire thing since I was totally thinking about that today (I am finishing that silly book, you know Twilight for the third time...not sure why I keep reading it). Not that I have any kids or worry about my daughters dating, but thoughts of life with vampires has crossed my mind.

No Cool Story said...

You should have asked about the vampire thing and then, just to bring the entertainment level to new depths, asked him about werewolves than get older, as in wolf years and what his thoughts were.

Yeah.

Lippy said...

There was also the chance that he might have been a vampire, which sure could have gotten ugly...

But you never know. You may be on to something. I can see you saying, "thanks, I'll be here all week!"

Tami Vincent said...

That is so funny. I think an entertainer at the gym would make it worth going, how fun would that be you could strenthen your abs while laughing.

Melissa said...

Hee hee... I think you should get a free membership! And next time, ask him his opinion... if he's bold enough to laugh out loud at a conversation that he is eavesdropping on, you can be bold enough to question him ;)

Jan said...

With his vampirish laughter makes me think he was saying "I vant to drink your blood". Next time you go to the gym, take a stake and hammer and wrap yourself in garlic. Just in case.

Paul said...

It's funny that you write about this today.

Just a couple hours ago, I'm sitting in the waiting area at Susan's OB (I was staring at the floor, like always - still haven't figured out proper protocol for a man in a OB waiting area, but I digress). She points out an ad in a SLC-based magazine for a local health club that offers a pole-dancing class.

Is this a new phenomenon - a very disturbing, our-society-is-irreversibly-corrupt phenomenon?

It pitched itself as a "full-service spa." So, I was thinking as a confidence booster, they could hire dirty-looking men to hang out with pockets full of dollar bills. A little spittle on their chins would totally complete the look ("little spittle" - such prose)!

Maybe you could head up the whole department? You could call yourself something really official-sounding - like "entertainment concierge." Just make sure you give us daily anecdotes about the people you interview.

Hope4Hannah said...

Wow! well if there is going to be entertainment I might just have to start going with you to the gym in the morning...

NG said...

It's kind of like having a blog, isn't it?

Heather said...

I would love to be a silent listener to all your conversations for 24 hrs...

Heidi said...

Ha. I love to listen in on other people's conversations, but I hate to get caught. You were probably wise to pretend you didn't notice . . .

JustRandi said...

Paul- I totally think you should sign up for that class. Think of the ab work you could get done!

Although the "full service" might be more than you bargained for...

Paul said...

I shudder to think of a world in which the fury of my inner-stripper has been unleashed.

Plus, a man in a pole-dancing class seems like a pretty bad idea. Actually, everything about a pole-dancing class seems like a bad idea. But a man in there? Well, that's just creepy.

Jenny said...

I sometimes wonder about people overhearing us when we run. How funny. You should have asked him what he thought. lol

The MomBabe said...

Priceless.

Sue said...

I'm still impressed over the 30 minutes on the epliptical thing.

Tonya said...

I'd go to the gym way more often if there were more entertainment like that. It would make the time go much faster.

Jeanette said...

Just found your blog through LDS Women blogs. Glad I did! It would be nice to have some good entertainment while at the gym!
:-)

Buddy said...

That's too funny! Are you sure he was chuckling at you two??

Nancy Face said...

Lauren and I also entertain ourselves with vampire conversations while working out. It makes it so much more fun...GOSH!

Corrine said...

have you thought about bringing your blognasium with you?

I think you should head to the front desk and ask about the position and maybe they could hook you up to those aerobic instructor's head set microphone things for the whole gym to enjoy!