So when your daughter gets up and leaves a large Sunday meeting during the middle of someone's talk - for no apparent reason - do you think it's overreacting to:
ground her, take away her cell phone, AND talk to her about how rude it was until she cries?
Sheesh.
What the heck is wrong with me?
This morning I did take back the grounding, restored the cell phone privileges, and felt really really bad about the crying thing All. Day. Long.
32 comments:
Since I don't know what kind of meeting it was I have no opinion other than me loving your blog :)
I've made my poor daughter cry on more occasions than I wish to remember. We do our best as moms, but we're so not perfect!
I think some of the bestest parenting moments are when the parents mess up. It's a great lesson on repentance and the fact that we're still people.
I'm sure your daughter will not remember WHY you did it... but she will remember you humbling yourself!
Gosh, I missed your posts, lady!
You are a brave, humble woman to admit this for all to see!
If I blogged about my bad parenting moments, that would be all I ever blogged about, cuz they happen A LOT!
I am sorry about the drama, though.
Hey, at least you said you were sorry and gave back some stuff. My parents never did admit they were wrong and sometimes I think I'm still not over it, even though I most certainly should be.
Been there, done that--surprised all of my kids don't have that pin ; )
I think saying that we're sorry, and learn from our mistakes is all we can do.
Sorry, the above post was me ; )
We all find ourselves in situations like that, but you arose and did what you thought was best and she will remember that.
It depends on why she left the meeting in the first place. Did she have to go to the bathroom or have to take a cigarette break?
Don't be too hard on yourself. We all have days like that and you apologized which is more than most!
She had to get a drink. At the exact same time as two of her friends suddenly got thirsty.
I wouldn't know about that because I am a perfect mom and my kids are angels. ;)
We do the best we can, but it all comes down to the fact that we are human and we lose our cool. What's important is that we admit when we lose it,apologize and then forgive ourselves. Of course that is easier said than done. *HUGS*
Ahhhhh.... the thing about the friends having to have a drink at the exact same moment explains the reaction. I would agree that it requires a little discussion. Don't beat yourself up about it. :)
Yeah, I just got done reading another blog where a mom was talking about her son smoking pot, having provocative pics of his 13-yr. old girlfriend on his phone, and giving him random drug tests because she's pretty sure he's taking drugs. Overreacting? Maybe just a little bit. I think a little perspective would help in this case.
Well, ya know, overreation or not, I'm gonna sit on your side. Respect in church is important, although leaning over to let you know a bathroom break is necessary would be nice, and isn't unreasonable. And as for the overreation, we all do it at some point. You did your best to correct it, and I'm sure she won't forget this lesson! LOL
Sometimes our kids need to see us make mistakes and apologize. It feels awful but I think it makes us better examples.
Been there and done that!! I hear you. :)
So fun being a parent. Right? Isn't it fun? I know someone somewhere told me that being a parent was supposed to be fun... unfortunately, some days are just NOT!
I suppose it depends on how disruptive she was. And why she left. Maybe? I'm not a mom...
Good luck:)
I think you sent the right message twice. First, to show that respect in meetings and to other speakers. Second, by showing that sometimes even moms make mistakes and by doing what you did to make ammends. None of us are perfect. You are pretty perfect ( I think) and I totally love reading your blog!
You need to run it like a classroom: They get three hallpasses per quarter, they need to ask you for permission, and they need to take one of those ugly ginormous objects with them when they do it (oh yeah, and you need to be on the watch for the 'meeting up with friends' thing). ;-)
Honestly, I'm just glad you did react. I see kids going in and out of Sacrament Meeting all the time, and it boggles my mind; and many times it's the same kids over and over again in one meeting. I'm wondering what kind of respect these kids are learning (or lack thereof). When I was a kid, you just didn't leave Sac Mtg unless your nose was bleeding or you were about to vomit. Seriously, you can sit for an hour and 5 minutes. To this day I rarely just get up and walk out, unless it's some sort of emergency (like I forgot something at home that needs to be photocopied by the next hour; yeah, that happened once.) I consider it rude, esp during a talk.
I'm glad you took the opportunity to make this a teaching moment, because perhaps that was all that was needed. You rock randi!
I so feel your pain. sigh. I love the button, though!
Maybe the punishment didn't fit the crime but our teens still need to know that they don't just get up and leave because they are thirsty or bored. I use the same rule of thumb as they would in class at school. If the issue is serious enough to leave class in school then they can leave the meeting, if not, sit down, listen and wait for the extra 20 minutes for a water or WC break.
I doubt she is scarred in any appreciable way. Boy I sound so cranky tonight.
Funny how everyone gets parched at once, huh?
I have to say, you are a much nicer mom than me. I would have stuck to my guns on that one. If she had been sick, having a female emergency, or had been beckoned on her father, I would possibly have apologized. Otherwise...well, I'm not a very nice mom I guess.
Hard to tell with teens. Of course the friends getting up at the same time didn't help. Maybe a refresher course in Sacrament Manners is necessary. For our family it's:
Go get your bathroom/drink done before the meeting.
If you HAVE to go, wait until after a speaker finishes.
You have five minutes to get back in the pew.
You did good. At least she knows you WILL call her on her behavior.
Aren't we suppose to talk them to death and make them cry??
Yeah, what Heather and Becky said.
Oh honey, if I had a hundred dollars everytime I have overreacted I could buy a private island, a personal jet and have Daniel Craig -wearing a tuxedo- over for dinner.
Just dinner.
Although Im not a mom, I too have overeacted at things way too many times :) Dont worry, as long as you know that she knows you're sorry :)
I wish I had advice for you on this . . . Ok, maybe I don't because I'm not ready for teenagers! I'm sure overreactions are normal, and maybe this wasn't even an overreaction.
My daughter used to get up to get a drink during sacrament meeting talks to meet up with her boyfriend from the other ward who is skipping his Sunday School class. I was not rational either. Girls and drama. Sigh.
No comment on the grounding thing. I would just incriminate myself. But where oh where did you get that fantastic button? Since I'm the wicked witch of the west, north, south, and east, I NEED that button!
HI Judy! Welcome to the blog!
The button is a Facebook creation. You're welcome to copy it and take it home with you if you like. I'm so glad you popped in!
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