Wednesday, June 3, 2009

You Just Made The Blog

Things That That I have Started To Blog About In The Last Week , But Have Decided The Post Was Really Stupid And Not Funny or Meaningful:

Being On Hold with BYU for 26 minutes while listening to the loudest classical music of my life. Seriously, I had to set the phone down on the counter. I got to thinking that maybe they could have told me the names of the pieces being played, and then every 15 minutes or so they could give me a little pop quiz on what I'd just heard. Doing well on the quiz would move me up in the "order in which my call would be answered". Don't you think I'm on to something there?
It IS an educational institution, right? Shouldn't we reward learning?
There are consequences when you give me time to think, people.


Swimsuit Shopping. That post changed moods as you read through it sort of like a bipolar woman in the manic cycle. With PMS. And No Chocolate.


Church Callings, and people who feel like they have to do a little bit MORE. I can sum up the whole post by saying "PLEASE, please don't". Just what needs to be done, and do it well.


Grocery Store Clerks playing "Guess what's for dinner" as my stuff rolls down the belt. I'm not making a judgment call on the customer serviceness of that game... but since they'd already guessed TACOS, don't you think it would have been nice of them to mention that I had forgotten the ground beef?


Rabbits. More Rabbits. There would be continuously flowing rabbit posts around here were it not for my amazing restraint. I've even considered starting a Bunny Blog. But anyone reading it would certainly think about turning me in to peta after only a few posts. I have no more love for the bunnies.


So you've been spared those topics. At least for another few days, although that bunny thing could really get the better of me soon.

Heaven help us.

46 comments:

Unknown said...

How about the people who do everything EXCEPT what they're supposed to for their calling? And I think the quiz thing is a great idea for being on hold. I usually put it on speaker and lay the phone down. Of course then when a real live person finally comes on the line, I'm so excited I hit the hang up button rather than turn off the speaker. AARRRGGHHH!

Heather said...

Swim suit shopping. I'm voting for that to go up, un-edited.

Kristina P. said...

I only shop for swimsuits online. Too depressing.

Lee said...

I would blog about the grocery store clerks. In fact, my last blog is pretty horrible about some random person in walmart.

I'm proud to watch myself move up your list!!! wah hoo!!

Heidi said...

Ooh, I want to hear more about the callings, too. This is a sore subject with me. So sorry about the ground meat thing--what do they pay those check-out people for anyway?

Dave said...

playing the equivalent of guess what's for dinner can be a dangerous game for a walmart checker

I could tell you some weird combinations that i saw. i can also tell you some weird ones that i have created.

but i won't

Cole said...

Ha ha, I was on hold yesterday and there was slogan trivia going on. They'd ask the question, make you sit through boring other crap and then repeat the question with the answer. In 15 mins. I got every one right.

Torture.

I should have moved to first!

Emmy said...

Some of those might be really good :) Hope to see some sometime.

Yvonne said...

Don't even get me started on my experience when I did Kyle's BYU housing--logged on at 8:00 (as instructed) and was # 2,000 or so???? Finally when I hit 900 their system crashed!!!! NOT IMPRESSED.

Swimsuit shopping--hate it!!!!

Can you imagine the comments (or visitors) if you had a bunny blog???

Tay said...

This is another vote for the swimsuit shopping post. In all of its glory! :)

And BYU hold music is seriously loud. You don't even need to put it on speaker phone to hear it when you set it down while resting your arm.

Jan said...

That could have been fun to read Randi. But, I get it.

Anonymous said...

I vote for the Anti-Grocery-Clerk post. Most of the time, the clerks I run into are nice and mannerly, and small-town enough to call me by name. But last night I got one who was rude, callous, and felt the urge to give a running commentary on everything that went down the belt. AND he had the audacity to make some snarky comments about how much I bought, and how much I spent, and I left feeling like I would never shop there again!

Unknown said...

Can I vote for the church calling one? At least I know I'm not alone. Sometimes it's very important for others to feel important, right?

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Jillybean said...

I like the quiz idea. There shoud be some sort of competition involved to determine who gets their call answered first.
Not that I'm competitive or anything.

The last time I renewed my driver's license, I waited in line for a very very long time and when I got to the window, the girl looked up my file and said "Hey, no tickets! We should have a reward for people like you with a perfect driving record."
I told her it would be nice if we could get a fast pass to the front of the line.

Erin said...

I love the grocery store clerks one. Yesterday I bought stuff to make pizza, and then realized when I got home that I forgot the mozzarella cheese. Oops.

mormonhermitmom said...

Ooooh, more bunnies please.

kristi r said...

My neighbor actually asked me if we wanted rabbits, for pets. When I kinda laughed (it slipped out before I could think!), she actually looked a little sad that I didn't want the cute bunnies for the kids.

Dave said...

I would love to raise rabbits. They make great stew.

Loralee and the gang... said...

Just be glad you have lots of people who want to do MORE, and not just the bare minimum, plus always fly by the seat of their pants? Count your blessings!
:~D

rocslinger said...

I know that my thought processes are a little, strange but it seems to me that you could use the bunnies for the taco meat. Maybe you could start a bunny taco bussiness. Than when your rich you can have someone else shop for you. I have no answer for the aggresive calling fillers though.

Barbaloot said...

Forgeting the ground beef---that made me laugh out loud:)

Loralee and the gang... said...

Oh - and swimsuit shopping! That's enought to make any grown woman cry! And, who doesn't hate being on hold? I think that there should be a prioritizer of some sort, PLUS rewards for being really smart. Or just knowing lots of mindless trivia. Whatever.
:~D

Camille said...

Ug, I'm totally with you about the people who do way too much when it comes to callings. It actually bugs me more than people who don't even do their callings.

Annette Lyon said...

I had a bagger once crack a joke about my fake hair color as he bagged a box of hair color. I wanted to hit him. Not funny.

Dave said...

annette, that made me lawl XD

there is a fine line between building rapport and offending the customer, huh?

ok. maybe the line really isn't that fine!!

Cole said...

Our pet bunny ran into the woods last night. I wonder if he wil be back in the open cage waiting for us when we get home. You know, with the shortage of food and good hiding places in the woods at our house and all....

I JUST bought a 50 pound bag of rabbit food!

Julie Ramsay said...

We gave our bunnies away...best thing that ever happened to me! Give them to a farmer or something! (Unless they're wild bunnies...set up traps)?

Randi said...

Where do you live, Cole? I can ship you 20 bunnies TODAY.

No charge.

Sue said...

1. BYU has a TERRIBLE phone/web system. EFY's, student housing, ARRRGGGG
2. I saw a friend buying something called blood wort or blood root?(something) to keep bunnies away, she said they're afraid of the blood smell. I'll try to find out the correct name.
3. I had an ignoramous checker ask me if my husband knew I was buying ENSURE! It was for my dying father who couldn't eat and I think she thought it was SlimFast. Save your comments for the weather cashiers and Mind Your Own Business. (It's one of my pet peeves, can you tell...)

mikelle said...

Personally, I'd like to hear about the bunnies! We have a bunny! His name is Mr. Wilson and he's very cute. But we're also on the verge of getting tired of him.

Heather of the EO said...

You could blog about anything, and it would be GOOD.

Tis true. :)

goddessdivine said...

Good way to kill 2 birds with one stone (well, maybe like 5). You were able to write on a bunch of topics all in one! And you didn't even have to finish them!

Melissa said...

I've decided that there is nothing wrong with wearing a t-shirt and shorts over my swimming suit... nothing wrong with that at all!

I don't mind the grocery story guessing game, what irks me is the ones that comment on every item. "So, what are you getting this for?" or "Wow, I didn't know we carried that" or "That's on sale?! I'm gonna have to get me some of that!" Just scan it and throw it in a bag. The commentary and inspection of each and every item is completely annoying!

LisAway said...

Guess what's for dinner. :) They don't do that in Poland. They usually barely acknowledge you're existence.

Vern said...

I think you should let the grocery clerks have their fun. I bet the same guy who forgot to tell you about the ground beef is the same one who was stone silent to me the other day when I walked through with two things: Monistat and a bag of chocolate.

Jennifer said...

I love the BYU phone quiz idea! I could carb load for that right?

. said...

You need to brainstorm with celeste - she's got squirrel trouble. Did you see her post? It's hilarious. It's war over there, baby!

charrette said...

These posts sound great. I hope you flesh some of them out. Especially the one about callings. Yeah.

charrette said...

This post was highly entertaining, by the way.

Mrs Andy said...

I hate the BYU hold music. You seriously need a hearing aid and a dose of KISS afterwards!

I've always wondered too if the grocery store clerk thinks I'm weird when I come in for the miscellanious stuff I forgot the day before: lightbulb, tampons, salad, batteries, popsicles, baby food. Back when I was teaching one of my students worked at the grocery store in our small town. She checked me out frequently and finally got the nerve to ask, "Why do you buy so much yogurt and frozen dinners?" All I could say was, "I'm single?" Good times!

Amy Peterson said...

I HATE being on hold!

Amy Peterson said...

I'm really sorry about the rabbits!

Amy Peterson said...

Rude, not to mention the lack of beef! I size up my clerks at Walmart. I look at the age in general, not too old, not to young-- I look at over all speed-- I watch out the the over talkers, but don't want to be stuck with the no talker.

Nancy Face said...

My newest calling is Relief Society instructor...not nearly as fun as Primary Chorister, which I USED to get to do! I'm pretty much terrified. My first lesson is this Sunday. You can be sure I won't be doing more than needs to be done...I'm just hoping I can do the basics and do them sort of well! :S