Monday, September 21, 2009

Well, That Didn't Take Long...

This last Sunday, The Brain got sustained as the second counselor in our bishopric.  He is enthusiastic, and a little apprehensive about all the responsibility, but he'll do a great job.  I feel great about his new calling, especially the part where he was um, "strongly encouraged" to shave off his beard.

*** Sidenote***

It's been about a week now, and everywhere we go together, people do a double-take, and just can NOT get over how much younger he looks without the beard.
"I mean, seeeeeriously," they gush, "you look at leeeeast 10 years younger!"
 Almost every time the person will then look at me, and say
"Uhhh, you look good, too."
and then go right back to gushing a few more comments about The Brain.

Look people, it's ok with me if my husband looks great completely on his own. I don't need your pity compliments. (even though I know you're just trying to be nice)

***sidenote over***

Anyway I made it through Sacrament Meeting and Sunday School without offending anybody  *that I know of*  but Relief Society (the women's meeting) is where it all fell apart.  There was an older woman that I'd never seen before looking for a seat, and I motioned her over to sit by me.  She politely asked if the seat was taken.  Wouldn't it be great if I could've just graciously said  "I would love for you to sit here."?

But no.  No.  Graciousness doesn't come naturally to me.

So instead, I told her that she could sit by me if she had any chocolate. Which in my defense, is a perfectly fine thing to joke with the young women about (where I just spent the last 3 1/2 years) - but apparently not so much with strangers in Relief Society.

She looked shocked.  And even though I tried to laugh and tell her it was a joke, and she did finally sit down, she would only respond to my questions in yes or no answers.  I still don't know who she was.

It's going to take a little work for me to get onto this.  I think I'm learning, but in the meantime, I guess we're all going to have to brace ourselves for Sunday.

I just don't want to come home every week saying, "If no one is offended, it must not be Sunday."


Dave said...


i was totally gonna ask him what it was like to shave :-)

that would be the thing i would hate most (i think)

it's not that i like beards, (i greatly dislike them) it's that i really hate to shave. (and i can't stress "really" enough)

anyway, regarding the real point of your post,

i had a friend that used to say that as a bishop, you offend 20% of your ward each year. that's why most bishops are only called for 5 years. there's no one left to offend.


I wonder if the same rule applies to bishopric's wives?

and as i think about this story, i can seriously see it in my head, playing out.


i don't think i can stress "lol" enough :-)


Chief said...

Oh dear, haven't we all been there. The RS meeting where the little old lady is offended because I tell her that if she sits by me she will have to endure my farts and uncontrollable tick (like flipping the bird at the teacher).....can't they take a joke?

BTW...My entire Bishopric has full beards and mustaches.

Kristina P. said...

I hope that woman never sees my blog post from today.

And my husband had a goatee until about 8 months ago, when he was required to shave it for work. I am still in mourning.

Heather said...

Wow, big changes around your house. Yikes about the chocolate comment. I hope it gets easier to be stuffy and boring... uh, I mean non-offensive.

Stacey said...

"Uhhh,you look good,too."
Why don't they just say "meh,you look aight." ;)

Some people are offended way too easily. I try my hardest not to be one of those people. If you had said that to me,I would have laughed and sat right down. Just sayin'.

Next week,I think you should try to offend 2 people. Just cuz.

Yvonne said...

Congrats to The Brain. He'll be fantastic.

You gotta watch out for us LITTLE OLD LADIES ; )

Barbaloot said...

He was asked to shave? Huh---not sure how I feel about that.

Um---if you DO have chocolate, will you PLEASE come sit by me in RS? There are no little old ladies to offend in my singles' ward:)

goddessdivine said...

You only offended one person? Your numbers are low. ;-) I'm pretty sure I've offended quite a few folks in my ward. It's impossible NOT to.

Watch--that woman will never come back and her story will be all about being offended by the 2nd counselor's wife. I mean, bishopric's wives aren't supposed to do that!! ;-)

She could have been snarky and told you that chocolate is against the Word of Wisdom (ha, ha).

Jillybean said...

I think that she sat next to you thinking that YOU might have some chocolate and when you asked her for some she realized that you didn't have any and it made her kind of onery.
Or she doesn't have a sense of humor.

Cherie said...

Ha Ha I personally think that is funny and it is totally something I would say.
The older ladies are a little bit more reserved I think.
I am just picturing her face.
ha ha

Cherie said...

P.S. I forgot to comment on the beard. I am one of those weird woman who like facial hair and was so sad when my hubby had to shave his and keep it off.
He looks so young anyway that I told him if he doesn't start aging soon people are going to think I'm his mother!
It's all good!

Lara said...

Wouldn't it be nice if we had something as easy as shaving off our beards to do in order to look younger? It's not really fair.

My husband was just released from the Bishopric when we moved, so now he can have a goatee again. He can look old with me! (Plus, I like it better.)

mormonhermitmom said...

But she DID sit next to you eventually. Although that's an idea; have some Hershey kisses in your purse and hold it out and say, "if you sit by me you can have it" see what kind of reaction you get.

JustRandi said...

lol mormonhermitmom --
that's what I used to do with the young women!

Glorious Thoughts said...

It should make you feel young to be married to such a "young" man. You just need to hide your kids and everyone will think you are both in your early 30's.
Next week I'm bringing chocolates because I would love to sit by you.

Paul said...

I'm not sure how I feel about the facial hair thing. Earlier in my life, I would have told them to pound sand. Now, I probably would think that it was a relatively minor thing for the blessings one would receive from such a service-intensive calling.

Still, it's dumb.

I vaguely recall seeing photographs of early church leaders (every prophet from Brigham Young to George Albert Smith) with beards. Did I miss the memo about facial hair joining Coke as things verboten?

When I was at BYU, I waited for FOUR HOURS to take a final at the testing center, only to get turned away for having about two-days worth of growth on my face (I'm seriously manly that way). I was crazy mad - it was unjust, and I had typical finals stress. Plus, IT WAS FINALS - they were lucky I had taken the time to bathe and brush my teeth. That night, I'm watching a BYU basketball game, and the players had all apparently decided to grow goatees (they were playing at a preseason tournament in Hawaii).

So, I started submitting a letter to the Daily Universe, pointing out this grave injustice and hypocrisy - I say "started submitting it," because when it first didn't get printed, I hand delivered copies of it every day for a couple of weeks.

Anyway, it was petty - completely lame, but insignificant, in the big scheme of things; but at the time, I was really worked up over it.

All of that pretty much amounts to nothing, since you weren't really complaining about them asking him to get rid of the beard. But I kind of thought the beard looked good. I think he should wear a sweater vest to church one week, just to show that he's still in charge of his free agency. Sometimes, you just have to stick it to the man! I think you hear me knocking.

JustRandi said...

Sweater vest added to The Brain's Christmas List. Check.

I bet he'll want to thank you in person for that.

Kerri said...

Okay, I have to respond to this because my husband (you read his political blog) has had a beard for the bulk of our 15 year marriage (I know, just puppies compared to you guys). Anyway, he lost his job 11 months ago and had to shave it off for job hunting. And we get the SAME comments - except no one gives me a pity comment because I already look like he robbed the craddle *roll eyes* (yeah, right). And he really does look younger without it. It's amazing what shaving off a little gray can do. Hmmm, wonder if I ought to shave off my graying temples?????

In the meantime, as for people being offended when you're trying to just be you, I LOVE the Dr. Seuss quote about that:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

Paul said...

Oh, I bet he will, Randi.

I bet he will.

Jen said...

I was just released from the RS presidency this past Sunday, attended my first stress-free meeting in almost 3 years! I don't have to know everyone's name anymore, make small talk that I totally suck at, sit up front like a prima donna, and conduct meetings. YAY!!! No more spotlight! Good luck with yours. :)

Sue said...

Gee, in Primary I have a pocket full of kleenex and I give one to every nose picker I see (that I can reach without a big disruption). Which is a LOT. gag.
And I thought The Brain's mother was visiting the last two weeks but now I realize it was YOU! Gosh, he just looks SO YOUNG!!!

Sue said...

Ummm, should I bring you chocolate now that I've offended you?

Celeste said...

hahaha, I'm sorry to be missing the fun in RS. Try to keep yourself on the straight and narrow. =) And you better be bringing your own chocolate from here on out.

JustRandi said...

Hey, Sue? Let's just say I visit taught you for September, and we'll call it even. ;)

Kevin said...

I think Paul should pick out the vest. And model it for us. And change his profile picture to match. I don't think that is asking too much... ;)

beckers said...

Did I miss a memo about you being released?? Way cool. :)

I know the Brain will be great at his new calling. He's just good like that.

"whateva" about the offended lady.... I woulda laughed.

The Mom said...

LMBO!!!!! That is so funny! I would have totally laughed, then brought you chocolate after church!

The Pollocks! said...

I'm so laughing right now. Sue never fails to crack me up! I live by the adage "People usually don't intentionally try to offend or hurt your feelings" and let a lot of stuff slide. (and then hope that other people have that same thought process when it comes to dealing with me!)

ganelle said...

See, if you had said that to me I would've thought: "Now THERE is someone who could be my friend!" Clearly, she's just not your ideal audience. Oh well, not everyone will be :)
And congrats/condolences on the calling. Diamond had that one - busy, but not as bad as I had anticiapated. Good luck!

Lucy said...

Get a place ready for Christmas because you will get lots and lots of cards this year. :)

rocslinger said...

To sit with me you have to have Diet Dr. Pepper. What.... you think you get to bask in my greatness for nothing?

Yes, I do look younger and not quite as crazy.

Just goes to show that you can't judge a book by its beard.. uh cover.

Sue said...

VT completed! Now if I could get mine done that easily...
How can I offend Marilyn and Linda????

Carrie said...

You can ask me to sit by you every Sunday if it has to do with chocolate. We can trade, I'll bring it one week and you can bring it the next. Of course, that might mean you'd have to sit up front with me which puts you in a prime location to offend... (But really, who doesn't want a friend *and* chocolate??)

Nancy Face said...

Relief Society is such a strange and unknown world to me, haha! I'm now an instructor there, after 7 years as Primary Chorister, and Young Women before that! I ALWAYS bring treats when I teach, to brainwash the ladies into thinking the lesson was actually good or something. ;)

Jennifer said...

ahhh.....yes. Welcome to RS where everyone feels just as self conscious and inadequate as you do. Only each person manifests it in a different way, thus creating even more "AWKWARD" moments. How about we go ahead and choose NOT to be offended people!

The good news is you can recognize it and figure out who you can kid around with and who you can't! And...hey bring the chocolate with you next week!

As far as the beard thing goes, I figure it is like the white shirt thing. It just appeared as the "rule" one day. I chalk it up to an obedience kind of thing....are you willing to do all you are asked?

I am sure you look great, even next to the beardless Kevin. It will take a little getting used then everyone will stop commenting on it!

LisAway said...

I love you, Randi. That is EXACTLY the kind of thing I would say. I'm sorry to imply that we have the same sense of humor or anything, but really. Exactly. Of course, that's only if I ever had the pleasure (seriously)of attending a RS that had more than 2 sisters in it.

Hope4Hannah said...

hahahaha! awww next time I see you I'll give you some chocolate so next time the little old ladies ask to sit next to you,you can say 'only if you like chocolate!' and whip some out of your purse. I'm not really sure how that would go over with them, but personally, I would think I would have just found my new best friend! because as we all know, only the cool lady in RS carry chocolate and candy in their purses! :)

Coconut Queen said...

I loved this story. Im always offending people totally by accident honestly! At least you could tell/suspect you'd upset her. Im a social hermit - by choice i might add. When i got called as RS Pres and then later as Stake RS, it was horrifying to have to expend energy to be nice to people. Talk to them. Be sensitive to their feelings all the time. And try oh so hard NOT to make my cynical/sarky/'funny' comments. Im hoping there arent too many women out there who will talk about how their Pres was the reason they left the church...sigh
Was surfing and stumbled on yr blog. Am really enjoying yr writing - I live in Samoa a million miles away.