Friday, March 5, 2010

White is the New Gold

Most of the adults in my immediate family go through various stages of drinking caffeine drinks or non-caffeine drinks, usually depending on how
a) righteous
or
b) health conscious
they are feeling at the time.
( "health conscious" in this context is a relative term.  just go with it.  we'll all be happier, k?)

You never really know who's doing what, and so when my brothers and sisters and their families all get together, we usually just make sure there's a supply of both.  You can pretty much count on the fridge of whatever location we converge on being stocked with Silver Bullets (diet coke), Golden Drinks (caffiene free diet Coke or Pepsi), and Black Pepsi (Pepsi One).

(Because if you're going to poison your body with chemicals, some people are choosy about which chemicals exactly those should be.)


(In case you're wondering, if you're not drinking Silver, Gold,  Black, or Water, you should probably bring your own drinks. You can put them in the bottom corner of the fridge, and I promise, no one will touch them.)

Fascinating, right?

SO about a week  ago, in a spurt of health consciousness, I bought a case of Golden Drinks to start alternating with, trying to get off the caffeine.  It was a whole elaborate plan, and I won't bore you with the details, but it involved an overly complicated rotation of silver, gold, and water, at the end of which I would be completely caffeine free, and twice as thin and healthy.  Also my kitchen drawers would be clean, the dog would mysteriously disappear, and my kids would have straight A's.

I'm almost a  whole week into my plan and I figured out today that the genius marketers at Pepsi have switched the colors on the cans for the diet and non diet -- and I have almost completely weaned myself onto the new Golden Drink - which is full sugar, and not diet at all, and adding about 300 calories to every day last week.


I was so mad, I went to Sonic and bought an extra large fully caffeinated Diet Coke.

I guess I showed them.

Jerks.

28 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Oh my goodness! I have a Sonic Diet Coke sitting right here!

I go through spurts too.

jennie w. said...

Love it! This week I have gone from no sugar/occassional caffeine to occassional sugar/full caffeine.

Next week i'll probably move up to Vodka. I'm sure the Bishop would understand.

RhondaLue said...

Ahhh that would really tick me off!

I poured myself all we had (2 liter of diet pepsi). I figured I can take the caffeine once in a while and it was early enough in the day that I wouldn't have to worry about it keeping me awake. Well, wouldn't you know that by the time I drank a good 30 oz I realized that pepsi freakin' tastes better than my diet coke. I was thinking of making a full-time switch (we never have pepsi so I was shocked!) over to the diet pepsi's. That's when I went back to look at the 2 liter and it just so happened that my husband bought real FULL ON SUGAR pepsi. Not diet. Super. ugh

JustRandi said...

RhondaLu I was thinking the EXACT same thing!
"This Diet Pepsi tastes SO much better than I remember it. I'm totally switching over."

I guess 2 cups of sugar per glass will do that.

Barbaloot said...

Yikes-dang Pepsi marketers! My siblings always know to bring their own caffine drinks cuz my parents never have any in their house:)

Dave said...

oh pepsi, you must fear the wrath of a woman fooled by your deceitful van switching.

and be especially afraid, cause she's all hyped up on sugar.

unless she slips into a diabetic coma.

then you are safe.

oh, pepsi, what a diabolical plan

well played pepsi, well played...

Dave said...

oh, and jennie,

I hear they make bacon flavored vodka.

you know, just in case your bishop has a soft spot for bacon

Janell said...

I think I may have startled my MIL with the *gasp* caffeinated beverages in my then-fiancé's fridge. He later admitted with some chagrin he had intended to move them out of the fridge before she came.

Oh well. She's never said anything to me :)

I now have a lovely, golden drink by my side. I go back and forth between caffeine and not caffeine depending on the time of day and my mood.

I do think my teeth would appreciate if I'd wean myself off the soda, but my tongue protests any attempts I make to reduce my mystery chemical intake.

Yvonne said...

Those marketers are so tricky, eh?

You DEFINITELY showed em.

mormonhermitmom said...

Ah haha! That darn tricky soda company. You sure they just didn't get the labels switched at the bottling plant?

rocslinger said...

I often wonder how the School of the Profits would handle the choices of drink we have today?

I picture something akin to Robbin Williams in Moscow on the Hudson staring at the coffee aisle going slowly crazy.

My daughter does not drink carbonated drinks, given my addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper, I sometimes wonder.......We were getting milk deliveries back than.

Heather of the EO said...

This was hilarious.

I really would quit caffeine if my dog would mysteriously disappear.

Salt H2O said...

Your post made me laugh.

I think I fall into the category of people that drink caffinated beverages because as a general rule I tend to be royally annoyed by the types of people who refuse to drink caffiene.

Not that I necessarily LIKE being addicted to caffination- but I don't want to EVER be associated with a non-caffinator.

Heather said...

Oh my gosh. You always have the most elaborate and well thought out plans! Too bad they don't always pan out.

Lee said...

I guess growing up in a house where there was an absolute policy where ANY soda that had caffeine was illegal and this included the caffeine free version of said soda... made it easy for me to not drink them as an adult. When, as a married woman, I tried my first coke/pepsi with caffeine drink, I wanted to gag. I just hate the taste of most pepsi and coke products. BRINK ON THE A&W!!!

Linda said...

But did it make the dog disappear?

beckers said...

Too funny!! I went thru almost a whole case of the sugar stuff a few months ago when they made the change. I had been thinking...wow! Maybe my old stash had expired or something. Dang it!!

I think it's a ploy to make more money... I mean you don't realize it's the sugar stuff until you've opened the first can of the 12 pack, and by that time it's too late to return it... Why else would they keep changing it?

Melissa said...

There was a time when I drank a lot of Mountain Dew... but had to lay off all soda because I just didn't have the money to buy it. There are times when I want to grab one, but I refrain because I know I'd be hooked... and I just don't want to be hooked!
Good luck in your quest... you know, after you finish your drink from Sonic ;)

Help I need a user name! said...

omg-it sounds like you plan things the same way I do! I'm sorry about your added calories...but I love your post!!

The Pollocks! said...

Any suggestions as to where we can send our dogs so they can disappear? We keep wishing that we lived in the country so we could "take care of it" ourselves and not get arrested. I so agree with you on that point! (And the straight A's - wouldn't that be nice!!)

AubreyMo said...

Thank you for commenting on my blog! You make me laugh. It's always funny when the packaging fools us. I bought 130 calorie bagels (read: bagels that taste just like dirt would...if I ever ate dirt) because the packaging was the same as the old packaging. Sneaky!!

Don't feel bad about the sonic drink though. We all know those are 1/2 full of crunchy ice anyway.

Tenae said...

My name is Tenae and I have a Coke habit....uh that is Coca Cola. Your posts make me laugh every day. You are the bomb. :)

Stacey said...

You go girl!

I'm so addicted to soda..and sonic ice.

That Girl said...

This is why I don't drink diet anything.

Christy said...

I think you deserve big bonus points for even making an attempt to get yourself weined off the caffiene. For almost a year now, I've been secretly wishing I had the will power to give it up, but I don't. I keep telling poeple that I can't give up my diet coke until I get released from being rs pres. Sad, I know, but some days a good diet coke with vanilla from sonic is the only bright spot of my day.

Emmy said...

Well your plans and intentions were good :)

happy mommy said...

The caffeine free Diet Pepsi is now white.

Which only testifies to me of its celestial nature. I believe that with every fiber of my being. Amen.

Jennifer said...

That sucks so bad!! (I bet it tasted really good.)

I was thinking when STF came home with Pepsi Max...not Pepsi One. That they really are messing with the loyal customers.
It is really hard for us to send someone else out to get the stuff.
Which always brings us back to Sonic.....ahhhh

Maybe it is the universe trying to tell you not to alter it the delicate balance.