Middle Schoolers Can't Run

Well, we're all thinking it, I'm just saying it! What is it that takes over a middle schooler's body and makes it unable to hurry?

As the ultra embarassing mom that I am, I have, in the past, in a fit of I don't know, forgetfulness (?) , asked my middle schooler to run somewhere. Like into the school. As I am dropping her off, I know it is futile, but since I am an eternal optimist, I try anyway. Here's the conversation as we are about 30 seconds away from driving up to the school.

Her: Ok, so you're parking, right? I mean, you're going to have to sign me in so I can get a late pass.

Me: You have 4 minutes before the bell rings and your class is right around the corner. You can make it.

Mooooom, you know I can't get there in only 4 minutes!

You're saying it wrong. Say "I have four minutes!" with your voice going UP at the end.

Do you WANT me to be late? You just want me to get an unexcused tardy, don't you? Now I only have THREE Minutes!!

Honey, you can make it, and if you don't I'm sure the Nike shoe factory in the basement (ie: detention) won't be so crowded today and you will be able to work by a window.

She rolls her eyes and exits the vehicle.

Love you, Mom.

Love you, Sweetie.

As she closes the door, she spots a good friend also being dropped off. She quickens her meandering pace almost imperceptively, so I know she has chosen to hurry, yet still maintain the bubble of COOLNESS that surrounds her.

In my vast experience with the middle school crowd, I can virtually guarantee you, that you will NEVER see a student running on the school premisis. If you don't believe me, sit outside one sometime and watch. And if you DO see someone running, (I am talking about the students here - - - adult running is quite common,) make sure to get some video footage. Use your cell phone camera - whatever. You will be able to sell that footage to the new Planet Earth Discovery show when they do their Middle School Wild Animal Special.

Maybe it's just me.