I’ve loved hearing everyone’s comments on my comments on Sister Beck’s talk. (Not that I’m self absorbed or anything. Maybe next we can all talk about my feelings on green paint… Sheesh)
But I wanted to answer Wiz’s comment. I started to write her a quick note, but then it got longer, and pretty soon my blogging time for the day was pretty well gone, so I thought I’d just post it here. If you’re sick of this topic, then I’ll see you tomorrow. :-) And if you’re not sick of it, feel free to chime in.
Wiz- I don't think you're wicked! I just think you're being way too hard on yourself.
You heard this:
"LDS mothers should be the BEST homemakers in the world."
But I heard this:
"LDS mothers SHOULD be the best homemakers in the world."
And as I pondered over whether or not I was going to buy myself a one way ticket on the guilt train ( something I seem to do occasionally) it occurred to me that I agreed with her.
As LDS moms, we believe that these spirits we bring into our homes in tiny bodies are extremely important brothers and sisters, who were faithful and strong in the gospel before they came to this life. And they have great works to do during their time on earth.
I think that because of this perspective (if we really know who we are and who our children are) - of COURSE it would then become a higher priority to spend the time it takes to nurture our children Vs going to the spa, watching our shows, - or even PTA meetings, right?
If you knew that you were raising say- Gordon B Hinckley, or Ronald Reagan, or (insert your favorite world leader’s name here) - would you do anything differently than you are doing now?
But our faith tells us that while our children may or may not grow up to be famous – they are all really THAT important.
If we have this knowledge, and other people don’t, we SHOULD be doing better. We SHOULD be the best.
Does that mean that if you belong to another faith, your children aren’t important to you? Absolutely not. And I think it would be insulting to say or imply that. Nobody has the market cornered on loving their children.
But I also see some parenting trends that are very disturbing. Seriously, (and I’ve been wanting to write a blog post about this) I am known in my kid’s circles as being a very Over Protective mom. Because I want to know where my children are going. And with whom. And who is driving and picking up, and what time.
I am continually stunned by parents who are willing to just drop their pre-teen daughters for a sleepover at my house - having NEVER laid eyes on me , or even talked to me on the phone.
When I see small children in a PG -13 movie (not that I, well, Ok you caught me…. Anyway….) because for whatever reason, their parents didn’t get a babysitter…
And for the love of meatloaf ! We have to have commercials now, and special days decreed to tell us to eat dinner with our families?!
I’m sure I do things that people could point out, too. Probably daily. But the difference is – I SHOULD do better. Because I have a different perspective.
Yes, she did tie housekeeping in with nurturing. But she very specifically said "Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work." I'm guessing we are all more talented in some of those areas than others.
And as a whole group - combining your strengths and mine - shouldn't we be doing better than other groups?
I think that getting wrapped up in the word BEST implies competition. Can you picture it?
Entering the grand champion Mormon woman alongside women of other faiths for the big housekeeping competition… Rows of Ironing boards lined up waiting like bikes in a triathlon. Eggs to separate, buttons to sew, diapers to change, windows to wash perfectly – and I mean both sides. After all, it’s the world championship, people! Fans chanting on the sidelines…. I’m trying to think of a chant for them, but my brain seems to be stuck in low gear today… Banners waving.. .
Funny to think about. But I don’t really see it as a competition. Just a reminder that where much is given, much is expected.
Anyway- maybe I’m rambling at this point and making it worse. I mean, I know this is nothing like the well thought out, polished post you’re used to.
So I don’t think you’re wicked or apostate, or anything even close. In fact, I think you’re thoughtful and compassionate, in not wanting to have to step on someone else to make yourself higher.
Thanks for giving me something to think through. (oh, and if you send me your email address I won't write long responses to you on my blog anymore.) Did that sound like a threat? It was supposed to be more of a request. What time is it? I need a nap.
Anybody else want to throw a shoe in the dryer?