Driving is the New Donkey Kong

16 is a strange age in Colorado right now.  16 years old used to mean driving.  And by association, freedom.

...freedom from driving people to seminary...
Oh, we're not talking about me.  Sorry.

The way the driving laws have been revised here - which I completely approve, btw - it has become sort of a tricky combination of things one would have to do to get a driver's license on one's 16th birthday.
There are different driver's ed requirements for different ages, there are numbers of practice hours you must log, both with and without a certified instructor, hours of driving in the dark vs when it's light outside, and there are just certain amounts of time you have to hold a driver's permit before you can be issued a license, depending on when your birthday falls. Then of course, there are the written and on-the-road tests.

I think our state government's evil plan is to make it so difficult to figure out the system, that no one will ever show up at the DMV, except completely by accident while looking for a Jamba Juice in a bad part of town.

If that's their plan, then the state government is out of luck.  Because the state government obviously does not have a 16 year old living in their house.  And certainly not one who has grown up navigating around the upper levels of video games, learning traps, scenarios, and cheat codes by the dozens.  I mean, when you compare the government red tape to that, well, it makes the red tape look like a walk through the first level of a 1980's video arcade game.

Or so I'm told.

I don't really know the point of this, except to say that even though Mimi is now officially 16, I will still be driving her around, and taxi'ing to early morning seminary this year, at least through November, at which time the state of Colorado will finally have a new 16 year and 3 month old driver. 

**sigh**

Sixteen and 3 months is the new freedom.

Do I Live in an Amazing Place, or What?

Romantic weekend with my husband? Sign me up! The Brain and I like to go somewhere together every year or so if we can. It's always amazing, and this year was no exception! We visited some of the little mountain towns of Colorado. It was lots of driving. And we did quite a bit of hiking and exploring. But we actually like driving, hiking, and exploring, so it worked out great.










Sorta makes me wish I actually had photography skills.

(But not enough to, you know, do anything about it!)





We drove by this motel, and I actually recognized it somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind from at least 30 years ago. It still cracks me up and made me want to stay there.... um, for about 30 seconds. (Yeah, I'm spoiled by Holiday Inn Express.)

Hey Nancyface! I'm thinking about making this picture my new avatar!

Yes, I really took these.

3 Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back

I spent some time last week at the DMV, and I must say that if you're into people watching, that is an interesting group of specimens.

And I did have plenty of time to people watch. See, when we got there and took a number, we thought we were about 30 people back in line. As it turns out, we were off a little. Some nice girl who had already waited as long as she could handed us her ticket on her way out the door. Which jumped us up in line by 85 people. EIGHTY FIVE PEOPLE, people!

There has GOT to be a better way!!

SO with my time at the DMV cut down by about 2/3, I only had about two hours for people watching. Here are some of my observations - - in no particular order:

• There were 3 other copies of Breaking Dawn in the room, most of which were being read by people who never looked up once.
• Everyone who needs a license either has their underwear hanging out of their pants, or their cleavage showing down to THERE.
• Speaking of which, could someone tell me where the DMV is where normal people get their license issues taken care of? There were hundreds of people who came through there, but the professional looking adults were few and far between. Like there were maybe 3.
  
• Does Donald Trump stand in line at the DMV? I don't think so.
  
• I bet we could speed things up considerably if the computer system were more reliable. Just sayin'.
• I'd almost rather go to the emergency room. I mean, I'd still plan on spending the same amount of time, but at least someone might come out to check and see if we're still breathing.
• Lizzie passed her driving test with flying colors. However, by the time we got back and the woman started typing her info into the computer, the computer system went down AGAIN, and we ended up waiting an extra 20 minutes before they just told everyone to go home, because it wasn't coming back up for the rest of the day. Now, granted, it was 4:30, but still. Is this a business model to work toward?

All in all 2.5 hours on the first day, and then our 30 minute - umm - follow-up visit to get the actual license. Well, to get the actual paper that says an actual license will be mailed to you.

That's 3 hours of my life that are never coming back. But I guess I've wasted more. Like the time I.... wait, I'm thinking..... the time I ....

You know what? Maybe not.

Check Me Out!

Lizzie is learning to drive a stick shift.

I know!

You don't have to feel too sorry for me, though, because The Brain did most of the hard work. He's the one who volunteered to take her to a parking lot and let her practice and get used to her new nemesis, The Clutch. He also had her drive home from that parking lot, including the exhilarating experience of lurching into the middle of an intersection only to have the car die during the left turn process, which, as you yourself have probably experienced, quickly evoked strong reactions from several different drivers.

He then dealt with the aftermath of hyperventilation and the near fainting spell that took place after they managed to get out of the intersection.

He even took her out again the next day where they were only yelled at once when she stopped at a supermarket crosswalk and couldn't get going again, only to have the driver of the car behind her get out of his car to come to her window to yell at her about "parking in the fire lane". (Get a life, guy!)

The Brain again had to deal with the aftermath of hyperventilation and the near fainting spell that took place after they managed to get out of the fire lane.

When it was my turn, I rode with her while she drove to a choir practice on Sunday night. Lizzie, Mimi and I all hopped into the little car to make what I thought should be an uneventful 15 minute drive.

See, when you drive a mini-van, the only people who "check you out" are creepy old guys in convertibles. It never occurred to me that being in a different car with a different driver might produce different results along those lines.

I was stunned by the number of cars full of teenage buys that zoomed up to check us out. I mean, from the back, we looked like "Hey! car full of girls!" Of course, once they figured out that it was 2 girls and their mom, the fascination was over and they sped away. I don't think Lizzie even noticed. (She had plenty to think about, what with the driving and clutching, and braking, and shifting... not to mention the burning clutch fumes that were making us all a little dizzy.)

But seriously, once we got home, the Brain was dealing with MY hyperventilation and near fainting spell. I guess when you get old, you forget how many distractions there really ARE on the road.

You Know, The Important Stuff...

Driving

Today on the radio, they were talking about the best songs for driving. Apparently, recently someone took a survey, and let people vote on the best EVER song for driving. I don't know who, OK? I just report this stuff, I don't research it. Obviously. Probably the radio hosts got their information off the internet, so you KNOW it's good.

Anyway -
The top driving song ever? Is apparently, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Which I may very well agree with. Especially considering the other songs that were mentioned. Um, Satisfaction? I guess I'm not a big Stones fan. Country Roads? well, I like John Denver and everything, but that wasn't the very first song that came to mind. I'm not sure it would have ever come to mind.

But anyway...

It occurred to me that my summer is shaping up to be a LOT of driving, and maybe I should get together some kind of playlist.

And in the interest of not just putting Bohemian Rhapsody on permanent repeat, I wondered what else was out there. Here's what I've got:
Bohemian Rhapsody
Life is a Highway.

Yeah, I don't think that list is even going to get me out of Denver. Suggestions?

Driver's Ed(ge) 2

Last night Lizzy called me to come pick her up from practice. I grabbed my keys and on the way out to the car I made a mental note that she would probably want to drive, since she jumps at every opportunity to get behind the steering wheel for any reason.

As I chuckled to myself, I unlocked the doors, hopped in the car and sat for a moment in the shotgun seat, until it occurred to me that, ummm, the driver was over at the school.

How embarrassing.

That driver's edge gets closer every day.

Point of No Return

This weekend we decided to do a little 4-wheeling! We were on a sandy road at the Sand Dunes National Monument, and about a mile in we came upon this rather unnerving sign.

Since I live in a place with lots of National Parks around, I happen to know that they do their best to keep people OUT of the parks and wilderness areas. (We wouldn't want humans messing up all the nature and everything...) But is this going a bit far?

I mean, I thought the $15 entrance fee was steep, but a possible $400? Schwooo!


We checked our credit report and decided we could afford it.



Of course, the pictures don't do it justice. But it was amazing.

(And we made it without needing a wrecker!)

What I Meant to Say

What I Said To Lizzie:
Honey, you're driving in the gutter! On the sidewalk! In the gutter! OK.... that's better.

What I Should Have Said:
Eyes on the road! Honey, you have to maintain your lane, even if there's a cute boy with a kitten on the other said of the road. And even if he's smiling at you.

What I Wanted to Say:
STOP! THE! CAR!! I want to LIVE!!!

Gettin' My Kicks on Route 66

Ohhhh, it's been a looooong 2 days of driving. But here I am in beautiful Yuma, AZ for the next 2 days before I turn around and do it all again.

My favorite thing about Yuma is watching the military pilots in training. They fly over the city a lot, and I have learned to listen for them. They are really fast, and by the time you hear them they've already passed you. This morning they were doing some kind of training that looked like is was straight out of the movie Top Gun.

One pilot in a small Soviet-looking plane would go past, and then about 15 seconds later, a larger US looking plane would be chasing him wherever he went. Then about a minute later another set would go by. Go Maverick!

I don't know why that fascinates me so much. Someday I'm going to get a big book - coffee table style - about the military aircraft and learn to identify them.


Oh yes, and a quick note

To The Person Driving a White Neon on I-15 Monday Afternoon:

I noticed that you passed me several times during part of our drive. The last time you passed me, I really appreciated your waving to me - you know - friendliness to your fellow drivers and all that. I even thought it was nice that you raised one finger. I'm sure you were trying to say - Power To The Drivers! or some message of solidarity.

I wish, though, that you had used your cruise control LIKE I DID - set on 83MPH- because I noticed that a bit further down the road you were pulled over to the side, making another new friend. This one with flashing lights.

Thanks for reminding me that you can always make new friends.

Best Wishes for Your Future Social Opportunities,

JustRandi

To Ensure Your Safety, Stay Off the Sidewalks

That's right, Lizzie is now a full on card carrying member of the driving society. Well, when I say card carrying, I mean that after standing in about 500 lines at the DMV, they gave her a slip of paper and told her that she would receive her driver's permit in the mail in 2-3 weeks.

But she does have legal permission to drive. Only with me. Apparently Colorado law has changed even more since Puff got her license. Now, if you are under the age of 16, you can only drive with the person who actually signed your paper. In front of witnesses.

And they don't tell you where you can get a mini-van fitted with one of those extra brake pedals.

We've been driving a couple of times in parking lots. As soon as I'm convinced she's got the difference between the brake and the gas fixed solidly in her brain, we'll graduate to neighborhood streets, then feeder roads, and finally highway driving.

She's SO wishing she'd waited for her dad to take her down to that DMV.

Driver's Ed(ge)

Lizzie has been studying for her driver's permit.
Last night on our way home from somewhere we were sitting in a turn lane and she said,
"So Mom, I guess you only have to use your turn signal when you are the first car in line to turn, right?"
I looked down. Arrggg.
It's going to be a long 12 months, isn't it?